Quote

So Fox News is the voice of America and Obama is Stalin? Oh my God! I guess that makes me Yakov Smirnoff.

Jon Stewart

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Guess
News
Voice
Makes
America
Stalin
Foxes
Obama

More quotes by Jon Stewart

Image
Glenn Beck does have a dream. Unfortunately, it's the kind of dream you have when you eat four pepperoni hot pockets right before bed.
Jon Stewart
Image
To the people who are upset about their hard-earned tax money going to things they don’t like: welcome to the f*cking club. Reimburse me for the Iraq war and oil subsidies, and diaphragms are on me!
Jon Stewart
Image
Don't worry, as long as America still has natural resources, you guys are okay.
Jon Stewart
Image
The wisdom of the masses is not always wise. You could put a lot of things to a vote-you could have put anti-miscegenation laws to a vote, and that would have passed pretty handily. Either all people are created equal-or they're not. You're either buying into the original premise of America-or you're not.
Jon Stewart
Image
The last thing we'll hear is some scientist saying 'It works!'
Jon Stewart
Image
Nothing brings closure to a campaign like opening it up again.
Jon Stewart
Image
Usually when Obama says, 'Let me be clear,' he's about to get into some very unclear sh*t.
Jon Stewart
Image
Here in the U.S., we've made democracy into a science. A cold, impersonal science.
Jon Stewart
Image
The night I turned twenty-two, I drank a shot for every year. I was so drunk, I'd just walk up to people in the bar and hit them in the balls. My friends drove me home and left me propped up on the couch holding a bucket. I woke up with vomit all over me. The bucket was clean as a whistle.
Jon Stewart
Image
Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything.
Jon Stewart
Image
I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.
Jon Stewart
Image
The government is just you know, blowing the doors off the media. And not everywhere, and I think, this is where you know, a lot of those blog reporters and all of those things are bringing a lot of urgency and a lot of momentum to stories that wouldn't normally carry any momentum.
Jon Stewart
Image
Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates.
Jon Stewart
Image
Being funny in life is a lot more like judo. It's using the energy.
Jon Stewart
Image
Everybody thought Barack Obama was going to [inspire people] when he came to Washington, but, you know, the Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.
Jon Stewart
Image
I don't trust any country that looks around a continent and says, Hey, I'll take the frozen part.
Jon Stewart
Image
I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.
Jon Stewart
Image
Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something so you don't go hungry, you're a moocher?
Jon Stewart
Image
I don't think marijuana should be illegal.
Jon Stewart
Image
The United States Central Command of the Armed Forces has asked Geraldo Rivera to leave Iraq. It should also be noted that the only three other people that the U.S. military has asked to leave Iraq are Saddam Hussein and his two sons.
Jon Stewart