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When my syndicated show got canceled, the next day I still knew how to write jokes. That was a huge revelation. Because at first you think, I won't have any shelter! What am I gonna do? The sun is hot. Very thirsty.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Still
Sun
Thirsty
Firsts
Huge
Homeless
First
Knew
Revelation
Writing
Show
Shelter
Think
Write
Revelations
Thinking
Next
Hot
Shows
Jokes
Syndicated
Stills
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Canceled

More quotes by Jon Stewart

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[When you have kids] you become much more - there are two things that happen. You recognize how fragile individuals are, and you recognize the strength of the general overall group, but you don't care anymore. You're just fighting for the one thing. See and then, you also recognize that everybody, then, is also somebody's child.
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So Fox News is the voice of America and Obama is Stalin? Oh my God! I guess that makes me Yakov Smirnoff.
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It's a wonder our country doesn't implode.
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That's what it's like to be a comedian. You basically stand and stare at the world and hope it craps out cause that's a good year for you. So that's not a pleasant feeling.
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Comedy is the only form of entertainment where the audience doesn't know what to expect. In an evening, you might get ten comics doing ten different things. That's not what happens when you go to hear music. There isn't a classical performance followed by a hoedown followed by rap.
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Some people look at a glass and see it as half-full. Others look at a glass and call it a dragon.
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Don't you dare besmirch the name of Congress. They are patriotic Americans trying to dress and feed themselves.
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Wow, the entire network of anchors has been hired to be the press secretary.
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The psychology degree is simply that I was a chemistry major, and they kept wanting the correct answer, whereas in psychology you basically write whatever you want, and chances are you get a B.
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Following revelations that he fathered a love child, the good Reverend Jesse Jackson - or should we say the 'very' good Reverend - is enduring the scandal with the help of family and friends. A scandal which gives clearer meaning to the Rainbow Coalition's Operation 'Push'.
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Yon Kippur. Greatest Jewish holiday ever. The Jewish day of attonement. You don't ear for one day, all your sins for the year are wiped clean. Beat that with your little Lent. What is Lent? Forty days of absolution. Forty days to one day. Even in sin you're paying retail.
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And try as I might, I am having difficulty giving a f**k.
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You know if I had nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go after Bin Laden.
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Don't worry, as long as America still has natural resources, you guys are okay.
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You can use your idealism to further your aims, if you realize that nothing is Nirvana, nothing is perfect.
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While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and balanced Vermont's budget - all traditionally conservative policies. Dean also received an 'A' rating from the National Rifle Association, which I think you can't get unless you've killed a guy.
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Isn't it amazing what scientists can accomplish when no one makes them stop?
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Iran, Ireland, Israel. That's three countries, four religions that HATE each other. Way to go, 'I'.
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The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom.
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Usually when Obama says, 'Let me be clear,' he's about to get into some very unclear sh*t.
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