Quote

When my syndicated show got canceled, the next day I still knew how to write jokes. That was a huge revelation. Because at first you think, I won't have any shelter! What am I gonna do? The sun is hot. Very thirsty.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Firsts
Huge
Homeless
First
Knew
Revelation
Writing
Show
Shelter
Think
Write
Revelations
Thinking
Next
Hot
Shows
Jokes
Syndicated
Stills
Gonna
Canceled
Still
Sun
Thirsty

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The best way to describe my ability was to say that after the game the other kids would say to me, 'Way to try!'
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Clearly, I'm way older than everyone.
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If you break someone's leg, shouldn't you have to be the crutch for a while?
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The American people, or at least the ones that I get on the subway with - they know there's a real threat out there. They felt like Iraq lessened our ability to fight that threat.
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When did fact checking and journalism go their separate ways?
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Wow, the entire network of anchors has been hired to be the press secretary.
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Following revelations that he fathered a love child, the good Reverend Jesse Jackson - or should we say the 'very' good Reverend - is enduring the scandal with the help of family and friends. A scandal which gives clearer meaning to the Rainbow Coalition's Operation 'Push'.
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Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I figured this out. I know what's wrong with what we've done in Iraq. We've been following time as it goes forward. What a classic mistake. Linear time is so pre-9-11.
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People, if you can't get through the puns, I can't give you the good stuff.
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So Fox News is the voice of America and Obama is Stalin? Oh my God! I guess that makes me Yakov Smirnoff.
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College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. So don't worry about your grade, or the results or success. Success is defined in myriad ways, and you will find it, and people will no longer be grading you, but it will come from your own internal sense of decency.
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The press is our immune system. If it overreacts to everything, we eventually get sicker.
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I have not moved out of the comedian's box into the news box. The news box is moving towards me.
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Do you know how many movies I wrote when I was high?
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California is choosing between the lesser of, uh, 300 evils.
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By the way, when you finish the bottle of Crown Royal, you can still use the pouch to hold your broken dreams.
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I'm also interviewing a guy who's just written a book about his experience living in Iraq, faced with the type of violence as he said, an unimaginable scale. And I think that the combination of that is very hard to shake.
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What would Jesus, or any human being who isn't an asshole, do?
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President Bush's approval ratings have taken somewhat of a dive. A senior slump, if you will. Leading President Bush to one conclusion: He is the only one who realizes what a great job he's being doing.
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[President Bush] recently challenged Iraqi soldiers still fighting U.S. troops like so: ... 'My answer is bring 'em on.' For those of you who may be criticizing Bush for acting like a movie cowboy, let me remind you. He's actually acting more like a movie cheerleader.
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