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People talk about sexual assault like it's a bad habit that men have.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Assault
Sexual
Habit
Talk
Men
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People
More quotes by Jon Stewart
I'm less upset with politicians than the media. I feel like politicians, there is a certain, inherent - you know, the way I always explain it is, when you go to the zoo and a monkey throws its feces, it's a monkey. But, when the zookeeper is standing right there, and he doesn't say bad monkey... Somebody's got to be the zookeeper.
Jon Stewart
College is something you complete. Life is something you experience.
Jon Stewart
Iran, Ireland, Israel. That's three countries, four religions that HATE each other. Way to go, 'I'.
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That whole thing has been overstated by environmentalists. First of all, what is it, rocks and snow? C'mon, what is that, you want that? Go to Canada my friend. Believe me, rocks and snow are overrated. I've seen otters - they look better covered in oil.
Jon Stewart
I want a sandwich named after me.
Jon Stewart
So Fox News is the voice of America and Obama is Stalin? Oh my God! I guess that makes me Yakov Smirnoff.
Jon Stewart
Hopefully the only things off-limits are crummy jokes, but being a standup comedian, I know that's not always the case... You know it when you have to take a shower afterward.
Jon Stewart
People, if you can't get through the puns, I can't give you the good stuff.
Jon Stewart
To have not shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.
Jon Stewart
If we are going to amend the constitution, shouldn't it be to keep the omos-hay from arrying-may?
Jon Stewart
Do you know how many movies I wrote when I was high?
Jon Stewart
The more you delve into science, the more it appears to rely on faith.
Jon Stewart
[The conversation with John McCain] is not about being a pacifist or- suggesting that you can never have a military solution to things. It's just that, it appears that this is not the smart way to fight this threat.
Jon Stewart
When you think about it, Alaska is also near the North Pole, so she must also be friends with Santa.
Jon Stewart
The nation of Dubai banned the movie Charlie's Angles because it's offensive to the religion of Islam. Apparently, the religion of Islam is offended by anything without a plot.
Jon Stewart
The government that governs best, governs best!
Jon Stewart
The press has bravely and nobly eroded the public trust... What I'm advocating is the media come work for us again. Remove themselves from the symbiotic relationship that they have developed with the power structure of corporations and of the politicians.
Jon Stewart
Honestly, folks, I think my brain is broken.
Jon Stewart
They create these rules and argue about things we don't even understand. It is like watching soccer. You sit there and you're sort of amused, but most of the time you're thinking, pick up the ball! That's what you're thinking.
Jon Stewart
I've always run by the hierarchy of If not funny, interesting. If not interesting, hot. If not hot, bizarre. If not bizarre, break something.
Jon Stewart
