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I've always run by the hierarchy of If not funny, interesting. If not interesting, hot. If not hot, bizarre. If not bizarre, break something.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Break
Interesting
Funny
Running
Something
Hierarchy
Always
Bizarre
Hot
Fun

More quotes by Jon Stewart

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I focus on the task and try and do it as best we can. And we're constantly evolving it, because it's my way of trying to make sense of all these ambivalent feelings I have.
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I'll tell you this: Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality. And the protections that we have, for religion -we protect religion- and talk about a lifestyle choice! That is absolutely a choice. Gay people don't choose to be gay. At what age did you choose not to be gay?
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A guy comes down to earth, takes your sins, dies, and comes back three days later. You believe in him and go to heaven forever. How do you get from that to Hide-The-Eggs? Did Jesus have a problem with eggs? Did he go, When I come back, if I see any eggs, the whole salvation thing is off.
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High school. You know, people say, 'I'll never do so-and-so again' - then they do it. So what? Sometimes somebody has crack, and you're looking to stay awake.
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The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.
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Bush's popularity is at 40% in South America? He could be their president!
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Everything in Italian sounds like 'Give me your money or I'm going to beat your @$$'.
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The beautiful thing about faking a news show is the topicality is delayed.
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Here's the way I look at it. President Bush has uranium-tipped bunker busters and I have puns. I think he'll be OK.
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If you are a minority or an interest group, the Democrats will hold the debate at your house. Whereas Republicans take a slightly different approach: they have a big tent - you're just not allowed in it.
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Is listening to Pink Floyd in the dark a medical condition?
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People talk about sexual assault like it's a bad habit that men have.
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I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.
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I don't trust any country that looks around a continent and says, Hey, I'll take the frozen part.
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If you break someone's leg, shouldn't you have to be the crutch for a while?
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Being funny in life is a lot more like judo. It's using the energy.
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If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values: they're hobbies.
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Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality.
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I could never wrap my head around why the world and the President that Republicans describe bears so little resemblance to the world and the President that I experience. And now I know why. There is a President Obama that only Republicans can see.
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When the court that handpicked you to be president tells you you've overstepped your bounds, you've overstepped your bounds.
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