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Is listening to Pink Floyd in the dark a medical condition?

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Listening
Conditions
Dark
Floyd
Pink
Marijuana
Medical
Condition

More quotes by Jon Stewart

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The best-laid plans of mice and comedians usually wind up on the cutting-room floor.
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After going to war against the U.N.'s expressed wishes, the U.S. is now admitting it needs the U.N.'s help. It's the geopolitical equivalent of the 2 a.m. phone call ever parent dreads: 'Mom, I'm not saying I wrecked the car, but I need a ride home.'
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I've always run by the hierarchy of If not funny, interesting. If not interesting, hot. If not hot, bizarre. If not bizarre, break something.
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Divorce isn't caused because 50% of marriages end in gayness.
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War that hasn't affected us here, in the way that you would imagine a five-year war would affect a country.
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[Hugh Jackman is] an Adamantium-laced Fred Astaire.
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In what is perhaps the strangest turn in the President's efforts to rally support, he agreed that Iraq is just like Vietnam, but in a good way.
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Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core.
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To me, that's where a lot of satire lies. News used to hold itself to a higher plane and slowly it has dissolved into, well, me.
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Maybe we should always show pictures. Bin Laden, pictures of our wounded service people, pictures of maimed innocent civilians. We can only make decisions about war if we see what war actually is - and not as a video game where bodies quickly disappear leaving behind a shiny gold coin.
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My buddy Tim Bass he's a-workin' pumpin gas, and he makes two fifty for an hour. He's got rhythm in his hands as he's tappin' on the cans, sings rock and roll in the shower.
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I really think [the Bush Administration]'s foreign policy agenda is to spread irony through the world.
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Bush's popularity is at 40% in South America? He could be their president!
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[John McCain] didn't believe me. I think anybody who's been in a POW camp for five years can - take eight minutes on The Daily Show.
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Corporations are the only reason the tax code is so complicated in the first place. Those off-shore loopholes didn't get carved out by poor people.
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I know that my job is to perform, it wouldn't be a very interesting show if I just came out one day and said, I'm going to sit here in a ball and rock back and forth. And won't you join me for a half hour of sadness.
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I thought we were out of money!? You can't simultaneously fire teachers AND tomahawk missiles.
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In case you're wondering what we all do here during the commercial breaks, mostly we just sit around making catty remarks about the outfits you're all wearing at home.
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President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of it came from the hundreds of thousands of voters who supported him by voting for Nader.
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I want a sandwich named after me.
Jon Stewart