Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
The last thing we'll hear is some scientist saying 'It works!'
Jon Stewart
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Thing
Suicide
Scientist
Works
Saying
Hear
Lasts
Last
Death
More quotes by Jon Stewart
The night I turned twenty-two, I drank a shot for every year. I was so drunk, I'd just walk up to people in the bar and hit them in the balls. My friends drove me home and left me propped up on the couch holding a bucket. I woke up with vomit all over me. The bucket was clean as a whistle.
Jon Stewart
It's the same argument people say about the blogs. The blogs are responsible. No, they're not. The blogs are like anything else. You judge each one based on its own veracity and intelligence and all of that.
Jon Stewart
The overwhelming condemnation makes it clear we have made enormous progress in teaching everyone that racism is bad. Where we seem to have dropped the ball... is in teaching people what racism actually is ... which allows people to say incredibly racist things while insisting they would never.
Jon Stewart
Nathan Lane's Bus of Broadway Fun will be leaving shortly.
Jon Stewart
Nobody out-rednecks the great state of America.
Jon Stewart
The Vietnam war was fought over portion size.
Jon Stewart
Technology. It's like science, only useless.
Jon Stewart
College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. So don't worry about your grade, or the results or success. Success is defined in myriad ways, and you will find it, and people will no longer be grading you, but it will come from your own internal sense of decency.
Jon Stewart
Does anyone know... does the Christian persecution complex have an expiration date? Because... uh... you've all been in charge pretty much since... uh... what was that guys name... Constantine. He converted in, what was it, 312 A.D. I'm just saying, enjoy your success.
Jon Stewart
If you break someone's leg, shouldn't you have to be the crutch for a while?
Jon Stewart
Some people look at a glass and see it as half-full. Others look at a glass and call it a dragon.
Jon Stewart
The real challenge is when I'm at work, I'm at work. I'm locked in, I'm ready to go, I'm focused. When I'm at home, I'm locked in and I'm ready to go and I'm focused on home. We don't watch the show. We don't watch the news. We don't do any of that stuff. I sit down, I play Barbies. And sometimes the kids will come home and play with me.
Jon Stewart
How refreshing. A suspect beaten up BEFORE the LAPD showed up.
Jon Stewart
And try as I might, I am having difficulty giving a f**k.
Jon Stewart
I feel much more strongly about the abdication of responsibility by the media than by political advocates. They're representing a constituency.
Jon Stewart
If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?
Jon Stewart
I can't tell you how many times we'll run into a journalist and go, Boy that's...I wish we could be saying that. That's exactly the way we see it and that's exactly the way we'd like to be saying that. And I always think, Well, why don't you?
Jon Stewart
Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.
Jon Stewart
Wow, the entire network of anchors has been hired to be the press secretary.
Jon Stewart
Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain.
Jon Stewart
