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The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Curriculum
Thing
Graduation
Life
Unfortunate
Core
Entire
Exciting
Truly
Elective
Place

More quotes by Jon Stewart

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I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection.
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Watching these channels all day is incredibly depressing. I live in a constant state of depression. I think of us as turd miners. I put on my helmet, I go and mine turds, hopefully I don't get turd lung disease.
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I'm thrilled to be asked to host the Academy Awards for the second time because, as they say, the third time's a charm.
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I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.
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What you do for Jewish New Year is you go down to Times Square. It's a lot quieter than the regular New Year. It's just a few Jews walking around going, sup?
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Here's the way I look at it. President Bush has uranium-tipped bunker busters and I have puns. I think he'll be OK.
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Don't you dare besmirch the name of Congress. They are patriotic Americans trying to dress and feed themselves.
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The conversation that the Senate and the House are having with the President [Barack Obama] was very similar to the conversation that [John] McCain and I were having, which was two people talking over each other and nobody really addressing the underlying issues of what kind of country do we want to be.
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I really think [the Bush Administration]'s foreign policy agenda is to spread irony through the world.
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The night I turned twenty-two, I drank a shot for every year. I was so drunk, I'd just walk up to people in the bar and hit them in the balls. My friends drove me home and left me propped up on the couch holding a bucket. I woke up with vomit all over me. The bucket was clean as a whistle.
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The psychology degree is simply that I was a chemistry major, and they kept wanting the correct answer, whereas in psychology you basically write whatever you want, and chances are you get a B.
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You know if I had nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go after Bin Laden.
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Is listening to Pink Floyd in the dark a medical condition?
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Sometimes it's hard to face your own...life.
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Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates.
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The United States Central Command of the Armed Forces has asked Geraldo Rivera to leave Iraq. It should also be noted that the only three other people that the U.S. military has asked to leave Iraq are Saddam Hussein and his two sons.
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I don't care about wealth. What seems to be upsetting is institutionalizing the advantages that wealth gives you.
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The only time a politico will try to avoid playing the blame game is when they or theirs are to blame.
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It's the same argument people say about the blogs. The blogs are responsible. No, they're not. The blogs are like anything else. You judge each one based on its own veracity and intelligence and all of that.
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To have not shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.
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