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To the people who are upset about their hard-earned tax money going to things they don’t like: welcome to the f*cking club. Reimburse me for the Iraq war and oil subsidies, and diaphragms are on me!
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
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Iraq
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Subsidies
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Club
Hard
Oil
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Clubs
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Reimburse
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I think you lose your innocence when you have kids, because the world suddenly becomes a much more dangerous place.
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I'm less upset with politicians than the media. I feel like politicians, there is a certain, inherent - you know, the way I always explain it is, when you go to the zoo and a monkey throws its feces, it's a monkey. But, when the zookeeper is standing right there, and he doesn't say bad monkey... Somebody's got to be the zookeeper.
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McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done.
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Isn't it amazing what scientists can accomplish when no one makes them stop?
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The country of Mexico has just gotten its first Taco Bell. You're Welcome. Finally, Mexicans will have access to... Mexican food. Bon appetit. I can't imagine how confused they will be when they get a taco.
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I want a sandwich named after me.
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I visit Fox News every now and again, and it's nice, because the Eye of Mordor is above the building.
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Iran, Ireland, Israel. That's three countries, four religions that HATE each other. Way to go, 'I'.
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That's the beauty of our show. Comedy or politics. We're sort of a mix. A space age polymer of both. A synthetic comedy-like material.
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As long as I don't end up hosting a skin care commercial with Cher, I'm happy.
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The blow back from the cold war is that a weakened Russia allowed Afghanistan to become a failed state, and then all this weaponry to flow into all these other conflicts. Our greatest triumph has almost fueled our most intractable battle now.
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If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.
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How refreshing. A suspect beaten up BEFORE the LAPD showed up.
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Oh my god... Kerry is boring even when Bush is reading him.
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It's always funny until the hooker mentions her son.
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