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And try as I might, I am having difficulty giving a f**k.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Difficulty
Might
Giving
Trying

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California is choosing between the lesser of, uh, 300 evils.
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I like not to be good at anything, so I keep hopping around.
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Michael Brown, the director of FEMA, was nominated by President Bush in 2003 and plans to start the job any day now. ... Prior to heading FEMA, Brown spent the 90's as a commissioner -- this is true -- of the International Arabian Horse Association. I guess he stands out because most Bush appointees are beholden to Arabian people.
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It's very hard to feel the difficulties that the military goes through. It's very hard to feel the difficulties of military families, unless you're in that environment. And sometimes you have to force yourself to try and put yourself in other people's sort of shoes and environment to get the sense of that.
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Here in the U.S., we've made democracy into a science. A cold, impersonal science.
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Donald Rumsfeld. Love him or hate him, you've gotta admit: a lot of people hate him.
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When did fact checking and journalism go their separate ways?
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The danger of oppression is not just being oppressed, it's becoming an oppressor.
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Don't you dare besmirch the name of Congress. They are patriotic Americans trying to dress and feed themselves.
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I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection.
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It seems like Michael Vick is going to jail for dog fighting. Hopefully, they won't have guard dogs.
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Oh my god... Kerry is boring even when Bush is reading him.
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You've confused a war on your religion with not always getting everything you want.
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I think you lose your innocence when you have kids, because the world suddenly becomes a much more dangerous place.
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Critics have noted Schwarzenegger's only previous government experience was serving under President Bush senior as Chairman of the Council of Physical Fitness, a largely symbolic office, where Schwarzenegger's only responsibility was doing hundreds of jumping jacks he was going to do anyway.
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Get a sense of humor. If you don't, it'll be incredibly frustrating.
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Democrats do have a historic race going. Hillary Clinton vs. Barack Obama. Normally, when you see a black man or a woman president an asteroid is about to hit the Statue of Liberty.
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We called her Mother Earth. Because she gave birth to us, and then we sucked her dry.
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If we are going to amend the constitution, shouldn't it be to keep the omos-hay from arrying-may?
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When Henry Hill [in Goodfellas] got arrested for the first time and Robert DeNiro met him at the courthouse and Henry Hill was really upset, 'cause he thought Robert DeNiro would be really mad at him. And DeNiro comes up to him and he gives him a $100 and he goes, You got pinched. We all get pinched, but you did it right, you didn't say nothing.
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