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Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Claus
Superpower
Hates
Santa
Everyone
Hate
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More quotes by Jon Stewart
They create these rules and argue about things we don't even understand. It is like watching soccer. You sit there and you're sort of amused, but most of the time you're thinking, pick up the ball! That's what you're thinking.
Jon Stewart
Wow, the entire network of anchors has been hired to be the press secretary.
Jon Stewart
Critics have noted Schwarzenegger's only previous government experience was serving under President Bush senior as Chairman of the Council of Physical Fitness, a largely symbolic office, where Schwarzenegger's only responsibility was doing hundreds of jumping jacks he was going to do anyway.
Jon Stewart
It's the same argument people say about the blogs. The blogs are responsible. No, they're not. The blogs are like anything else. You judge each one based on its own veracity and intelligence and all of that.
Jon Stewart
I remember having a grade-school teacher I thought was a hard-ass. When you're that age, you think the guy is Himmler. Then you visit him eight years later and he's wearing polyester pants, he's four foot eight, you think he's gay, and you're like, 'Are you the guy I was afraid of?
Jon Stewart
I'm doing everything I can to sabotage my career. It's a little thing called fear of success.
Jon Stewart
People, if you can't get through the puns, I can't give you the good stuff.
Jon Stewart
Clearly, I'm way older than everyone.
Jon Stewart
I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.
Jon Stewart
You've confused a war on your religion with not always getting everything you want.
Jon Stewart
The last thing we'll hear is some scientist saying 'It works!'
Jon Stewart
Really, an historic night last night. You may have heard, Barack Obama will be the first black president of the United States of America. ... Obama is also the first Democrat to receive more than 50 percent of the vote since Jimmy Carter, the first senator to be elected since Jack Kennedy, the first Muslim to be ... I said too much.
Jon Stewart
I still do not understand how a corporation can have person-hood if it has no soul and never dies.
Jon Stewart
The psychology degree is simply that I was a chemistry major, and they kept wanting the correct answer, whereas in psychology you basically write whatever you want, and chances are you get a B.
Jon Stewart
Watching these channels all day is incredibly depressing. I live in a constant state of depression. I think of us as turd miners. I put on my helmet, I go and mine turds, hopefully I don't get turd lung disease.
Jon Stewart
We hear every damn day about how fragile our country is - on the brink of catastrophe - torn by polarizing hate, and how it's a shame that we can't work together to get things done, but the truth is we do. We work together to get things done every damn day!
Jon Stewart
As a comedian, as a person, as a citizen, as a mammal - in all of those areas, I am looking forward to the end of the Bush administration with every fiber of my being.
Jon Stewart
Capote, of course, addressed very similar themes to Good Night and Good Luck. Both films are about determined journalists defying obstacles in a relentless pursuit of the truth. Needless to say, both are period pieces.
Jon Stewart
I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection.
Jon Stewart
My buddy Tim Bass he's a-workin' pumpin gas, and he makes two fifty for an hour. He's got rhythm in his hands as he's tappin' on the cans, sings rock and roll in the shower.
Jon Stewart
