Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
To have not shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.
Jon Stewart
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Would
Message
Shots
Messages
Weak
Friend
Quail
Face
Quails
Faces
Sent
America
Shot
More quotes by Jon Stewart
I mean, I'm not hoping for the apes and the monolith. I'm hoping for controlled chaos to assist us.
Jon Stewart
Making it [St. Patrick's Day] a great day for the Irish, but just an ok day if you're looking for a quiet tavern to talk, read or have a white wine spritzer.
Jon Stewart
61% of graduating teens have had sex, 37% will eventually have sex, and 2% become statisticians.
Jon Stewart
I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.
Jon Stewart
It is hard to get mad at Donald Trump for saying stupid things, in the same way you don't get mad at a monkey when he throws poop at you at the zoo... What does get me angry is the ridiculous, disingenuous defending of the poop-throwing monkey.
Jon Stewart
People don't understand that we're not warriors in their cause. We're a group of people that really feel that they want to write jokes about the absurdity that we see in government and the world and all that, and that's it.
Jon Stewart
The real challenge is when I'm at work, I'm at work. I'm locked in, I'm ready to go, I'm focused. When I'm at home, I'm locked in and I'm ready to go and I'm focused on home. We don't watch the show. We don't watch the news. We don't do any of that stuff. I sit down, I play Barbies. And sometimes the kids will come home and play with me.
Jon Stewart
Nathan Lane's Bus of Broadway Fun will be leaving shortly.
Jon Stewart
Here's what I realized about the yam - it's the same colour as a Nerf ball. You may be wondering: 'Is he saying he ate a Nerf ball?'.
Jon Stewart
The last thing we'll hear is some scientist saying 'It works!'
Jon Stewart
The Westboro Baptist Church is no more a church than Church's Fried Chicken is a church.
Jon Stewart
Congress is the Justin Bieber of our government
Jon Stewart
Everything is presented in as devious a manner as it could possibly be presented.
Jon Stewart
Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything.
Jon Stewart
Pigmentation was a quick and convenient way of judging a person. One of us, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., once proposed we instead judge people by the content of their character. He was shot.
Jon Stewart
9/11 references are like Lay's potato chips...no Congress can make just one.
Jon Stewart
For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We don't you know, it's interesting. I think we don't make things up. We just distill it to, hopefully, its most humorous nugget. And in that sense it seems faked and skewed just because we don't have to be subjective or pretend to be objective. We can just put it out there.
Jon Stewart
Songwriting is the way of perpetual want. Songwriters are the blessed/cursed people. You will never have a moment's peace in your life. You will always be wanting the next song.
Jon Stewart
In case you're wondering what we all do here during the commercial breaks, mostly we just sit around making catty remarks about the outfits you're all wearing at home.
Jon Stewart
I have the liberal dictionary right here...let's see how they define water-boarding: 'Something done by the evil troops, who we don't support, to innocent terrorists violating their rights to bomb our cities and make us get gay marriage.'
Jon Stewart