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It's like hunting cows
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Cows
Hunting
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More quotes by Jon Stewart
Do you know how many movies I wrote when I was high?
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In 1982 I was playing soccer at William and Mary, and a kid from Randolph-Macon called me a kike. I ran after him. 'I'm not a... well, yes I am.
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Give me back the $800 billion for the Iraq war and children's television PBS is on the house.
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Ah, the first rule of public speaking -- always start with a joke.
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Jazz musicians are the coolest people on the planet. Can I have some cool?
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The Westboro Baptist Church is no more a church than Church's Fried Chicken is a church.
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Everything in Italian sounds like 'Give me your money or I'm going to beat your @$$'.
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What are you so mad about? That we still have a government? We still have “traffic lights.” We’re sorry. The government’s not perfect, but some people wish it was better, not gone.
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Usually when Obama says, 'Let me be clear,' he's about to get into some very unclear sh*t.
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I have not moved out of the comedian's box into the news box. The news box is moving towards me.
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The government that governs best, governs best!
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Donald Rumsfeld. Love him or hate him, you've gotta admit: a lot of people hate him.
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[He died of thirst?] That sounds, if I might say, like the greatest Sprite commercial ever.
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I feel much more strongly about the abdication of responsibility by the media than by political advocates. They're representing a constituency.
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I can't tell you how many times we'll run into a journalist and go, Boy that's...I wish we could be saying that. That's exactly the way we see it and that's exactly the way we'd like to be saying that. And I always think, Well, why don't you?
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Who cares how we avoided a war and got a dictator to give up his chemical weapons if we avoided a war and got a dictator to give up his chemical weapons.
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If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news.
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To the people who are upset about their hard-earned tax money going to things they don’t like: welcome to the f*cking club. Reimburse me for the Iraq war and oil subsidies, and diaphragms are on me!
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I know that my job is to perform, it wouldn't be a very interesting show if I just came out one day and said, I'm going to sit here in a ball and rock back and forth. And won't you join me for a half hour of sadness.
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They may want to insist that corporations are people but corporations are certainly not Americans.
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