Quote

Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I figured this out. I know what's wrong with what we've done in Iraq. We've been following time as it goes forward. What a classic mistake. Linear time is so pre-9-11.

Jon Stewart

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Minutes
Linear
Goes
Figured
Mistake
Classic
Waiting
Minute
Wrong
Following
Done
Iraq
Time
Wait
Forward

More quotes by Jon Stewart

Image
Child: Why on this night do we eat Hot Fudge Sundaes? Adult: To remind us that being Jewish is like having your birthday every day!! Plus they're delicious!
Jon Stewart
Image
I visit Fox News every now and again, and it's nice, because the Eye of Mordor is above the building.
Jon Stewart
Image
But the main thing I don't want to be is un-funny. That's really the mandate. Just whatever we're doing, make it as funny as we can possibly make it. And believe me, if the show starts going down, we'll introduce a baby. We'll do everything that they did on `Family Ties.' I'm not afraid of that.
Jon Stewart
Image
Critics have noted Schwarzenegger's only previous government experience was serving under President Bush senior as Chairman of the Council of Physical Fitness, a largely symbolic office, where Schwarzenegger's only responsibility was doing hundreds of jumping jacks he was going to do anyway.
Jon Stewart
Image
Bad jokes, and gay marriage are destroying this country - but torture can save it.
Jon Stewart
Image
Sometimes it's hard to face your own...life.
Jon Stewart
Image
That's the Senate Ethics Committee, an oxymoron since 1973.
Jon Stewart
Image
That whole thing has been overstated by environmentalists. First of all, what is it, rocks and snow? C'mon, what is that, you want that? Go to Canada my friend. Believe me, rocks and snow are overrated. I've seen otters - they look better covered in oil.
Jon Stewart
Image
Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.
Jon Stewart
Image
It's the same argument people say about the blogs. The blogs are responsible. No, they're not. The blogs are like anything else. You judge each one based on its own veracity and intelligence and all of that.
Jon Stewart
Image
I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about, and that's really it. I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change, but I am far lazier than that.
Jon Stewart
Image
Some people look at a glass and see it as half-full. Others look at a glass and call it a dragon.
Jon Stewart
Image
New York City isn't Chuck E. Cheese. We don't have ball pits for the kids to play in. We have titty bars and crack.
Jon Stewart
Image
Must be nice to be a Republican senator sometimes, because you get the fun of breaking sh*t and the joy of complaining the sh*t you just broke doesn't work.
Jon Stewart
Image
I focus on the task and try and do it as best we can. And we're constantly evolving it, because it's my way of trying to make sense of all these ambivalent feelings I have.
Jon Stewart
Image
[John McCain] stopped connecting and just looked at my chest and decided, I'm just gonna continue to talk about honor and duty and the families should be proud, all the things that are cudgels emotionally to keep us from the conversation. But, things that weren't relevant to what we were talking about.
Jon Stewart
Image
The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be determined by Internet vote... so look for Howard Stern's Private Parts to come in No. 1.
Jon Stewart
Image
At the end of your life, do you give a concession speech?
Jon Stewart
Image
This show is our own personal beliefs.
Jon Stewart
Image
I can't sing. Never been able to sing. I can't do voices very well. Every impression I do sounds the same. I can't dunk. Man, would I give anything to dunk. Just once.
Jon Stewart