Quote

By the way, when you finish the bottle of Crown Royal, you can still use the pouch to hold your broken dreams.

Jon Stewart

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Still
Bottles
Way
Finish
Dreams
Broken
Pouch
Hold
Crown
Use
Bottle
Dream
Crowns
Stills
Royal

More quotes by Jon Stewart

Image
I remember having a grade-school teacher I thought was a hard-ass. When you're that age, you think the guy is Himmler. Then you visit him eight years later and he's wearing polyester pants, he's four foot eight, you think he's gay, and you're like, 'Are you the guy I was afraid of?
Jon Stewart
Image
Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates.
Jon Stewart
Image
The best way to describe my ability was to say that after the game the other kids would say to me, 'Way to try!'
Jon Stewart
Image
The best defence against bullshit is vigilance. So if you smell something, say something.
Jon Stewart
Image
The press is our immune system. If it overreacts to everything, we eventually get sicker.
Jon Stewart
Image
I know that my job is to perform, it wouldn't be a very interesting show if I just came out one day and said, I'm going to sit here in a ball and rock back and forth. And won't you join me for a half hour of sadness.
Jon Stewart
Image
For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We don't you know, it's interesting. I think we don't make things up. We just distill it to, hopefully, its most humorous nugget. And in that sense it seems faked and skewed just because we don't have to be subjective or pretend to be objective. We can just put it out there.
Jon Stewart
Image
Child: Why on this night do we eat Hot Fudge Sundaes? Adult: To remind us that being Jewish is like having your birthday every day!! Plus they're delicious!
Jon Stewart
Image
I have a lot of hostility.
Jon Stewart
Image
If you smell something, say something.
Jon Stewart
Image
California is choosing between the lesser of, uh, 300 evils.
Jon Stewart
Image
It is hard to get mad at Donald Trump for saying stupid things, in the same way you don't get mad at a monkey when he throws poop at you at the zoo... What does get me angry is the ridiculous, disingenuous defending of the poop-throwing monkey.
Jon Stewart
Image
As a comedian, as a person, as a citizen, as a mammal - in all of those areas, I am looking forward to the end of the Bush administration with every fiber of my being.
Jon Stewart
Image
Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.
Jon Stewart
Image
The Vietnam war was fought over portion size.
Jon Stewart
Image
You need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and not come away thinking, Hey, there's something wrong with this mirror.
Jon Stewart
Image
The value of holding a grudge. And to always refer to my father sarcastically as Mr. Wonderful.
Jon Stewart
Image
Nineteen people flew into the towers. It seems hard for me to imagine that we could go to war enough to make the world safe enough that nineteen people wouldn't want to do harm to us. So it seems like we have to rethink a strategy that is less military-based.
Jon Stewart
Image
The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be determined by Internet vote... so look for Howard Stern's Private Parts to come in No. 1.
Jon Stewart
Image
You've confused a war on your religion with not always getting everything you want.
Jon Stewart