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Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
World
Absurd
People
Atheist
Apart
Dying
Religion
Hope
Irreligion
Death
Torn
Given
Paradox
More quotes by Jon Stewart
Wow, the entire network of anchors has been hired to be the press secretary.
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The United States Central Command of the Armed Forces has asked Geraldo Rivera to leave Iraq. It should also be noted that the only three other people that the U.S. military has asked to leave Iraq are Saddam Hussein and his two sons.
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The danger of oppression is not just being oppressed, it's becoming an oppressor.
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I know that my job is to perform, it wouldn't be a very interesting show if I just came out one day and said, I'm going to sit here in a ball and rock back and forth. And won't you join me for a half hour of sadness.
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I remember having a grade-school teacher I thought was a hard-ass. When you're that age, you think the guy is Himmler. Then you visit him eight years later and he's wearing polyester pants, he's four foot eight, you think he's gay, and you're like, 'Are you the guy I was afraid of?
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Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain.
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If the guy in front of you at the polls has arm swords, you might want to considering filling out an absentee ballot.
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If I could be really competent, that goes such a long way toward things, because the majority of things are not competent. If I can be competent, and have moments of originality, that's all I would ask for.
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Here it is. My moment of zen.
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I only find out where countries are when we start bombing them.
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They may want to insist that corporations are people but corporations are certainly not Americans.
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[Doogal] wasn't even animated. It was still and the audience had to move.
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The next four years, though, you still have to abide by the oversight process that is there to prevent this kind of bizarre sort of cult-like atmosphere that falls along. I mean, I accept that kind of veil of secrecy around Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, but I don't accept that around our government.
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Attorney General John Ashcroft bid farewell to the Justice Department with a goodbye address. The voluntary resignation came as a bit of a disappointment to the attorney general, who had hoped to be raptured out of office.
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If you break someone's leg, shouldn't you have to be the crutch for a while?
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You can use your idealism to further your aims, if you realize that nothing is Nirvana, nothing is perfect.
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I don't care about wealth. What seems to be upsetting is institutionalizing the advantages that wealth gives you.
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The more you delve into science, the more it appears to rely on faith.
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[President Bush] recently challenged Iraqi soldiers still fighting U.S. troops like so: ... 'My answer is bring 'em on.' For those of you who may be criticizing Bush for acting like a movie cowboy, let me remind you. He's actually acting more like a movie cheerleader.
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But our perfect democracy, which neither needs nor particularly wants voters, is a rarity. It is important to remember there still exist many other forms of government in the world today, and that dozens of foreign governments still long for a democracy such as ours to be imposed on them.
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