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Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
People
Atheist
Apart
Dying
Religion
Hope
Irreligion
Death
Torn
Given
Paradox
World
Absurd
More quotes by Jon Stewart
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I don't trust any country that looks around a continent and says, Hey, I'll take the frozen part.
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When you are actually powerful, you don't need to be petty.
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I thought we were out of money!? You can't simultaneously fire teachers AND tomahawk missiles.
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College is something you complete. Life is something you experience.
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What you do for Jewish New Year is you go down to Times Square. It's a lot quieter than the regular New Year. It's just a few Jews walking around going, sup?
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The best-laid plans of mice and comedians usually wind up on the cutting-room floor.
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There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on 'Friends' is.
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Technology. It's like science, only useless.
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There is going to come a day when everyone here is going to need keen observation and wit to ridicule George W. Bush. But when that day comes, all we're going to have are tired puns and goofy looks. Because as you would say, we're suffering from the soft bigotry of low expectorations.
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It really does seem that the Democrat's problem isn't that they're calling for timetables - it's that they're calling them 'timetables'. You're up against Bush and the Republicans - you've got to bring some zing. Don't call them timetables - call them 'Patriot Dates', 'Freedom Deadlines'... 'Glory Goals'.
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The beautiful thing about faking a news show is the topicality is delayed.
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What would Jesus, or any human being who isn't an asshole, do?
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Nobody cares that Mitt Romney is rich. It’s Romney’s inability to understand the institutional advantage that he gains from the government’s tax code largesse that’s a little offensive to people. Especially considering Romney’s view on anyone else who looks to the government for things like, I don’t know, food and medicine.
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I feel your scorn, and I accept it.
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As long as I don't end up hosting a skin care commercial with Cher, I'm happy.
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College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. So don't worry about your grade, or the results or success. Success is defined in myriad ways, and you will find it, and people will no longer be grading you, but it will come from your own internal sense of decency.
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Democrats - always standing up for what they later realize they should have believed in.
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I think you lose your innocence when you have kids, because the world suddenly becomes a much more dangerous place.
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Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I figured this out. I know what's wrong with what we've done in Iraq. We've been following time as it goes forward. What a classic mistake. Linear time is so pre-9-11.
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