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Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something so you don't go hungry, you're a moocher?
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Hungry
Taxes
Advantage
Smart
Break
Take
Moochers
Something
Businessman
Corporate
More quotes by Jon Stewart
Nineteen people flew into the towers. It seems hard for me to imagine that we could go to war enough to make the world safe enough that nineteen people wouldn't want to do harm to us. So it seems like we have to rethink a strategy that is less military-based.
Jon Stewart
High school. You know, people say, 'I'll never do so-and-so again' - then they do it. So what? Sometimes somebody has crack, and you're looking to stay awake.
Jon Stewart
Never name it after yourself. Maybe we'll throw a with in there. That seems to work. Like Late Show With David Letterman.
Jon Stewart
The wisdom of the masses is not always wise. You could put a lot of things to a vote-you could have put anti-miscegenation laws to a vote, and that would have passed pretty handily. Either all people are created equal-or they're not. You're either buying into the original premise of America-or you're not.
Jon Stewart
Senior year is supposed to be about being mentally done.
Jon Stewart
How refreshing. A suspect beaten up BEFORE the LAPD showed up.
Jon Stewart
I have not moved out of the comedian's box into the news box. The news box is moving towards me.
Jon Stewart
College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. So don't worry about your grade, or the results or success. Success is defined in myriad ways, and you will find it, and people will no longer be grading you, but it will come from your own internal sense of decency.
Jon Stewart
I don't think marijuana should be illegal.
Jon Stewart
Why did the Articles [of Confederation] fail so completely? Most historians believe the founding fathers spent a great deal of their first constitutional convention drafting the delaration of independence and only realized on July 3rd the Articles were also due.
Jon Stewart
9/11 references are like Lay's potato chips...no Congress can make just one.
Jon Stewart
College is something you complete. Life is something you experience.
Jon Stewart
I wonder who really is the change candidate? It can't be both of them [Hillary Clinton & Barak Obama]. What would be a black man and a woman - how could that be different than the 43 other Presidents we've had?
Jon Stewart
The next four years, though, you still have to abide by the oversight process that is there to prevent this kind of bizarre sort of cult-like atmosphere that falls along. I mean, I accept that kind of veil of secrecy around Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, but I don't accept that around our government.
Jon Stewart
A guy who says what people who aren't thinking are thinking.
Jon Stewart
My life is a series of Hollywood orgies and Kabbalah center brunches with the cast of Friends. At least that's what my handlers tell me. I'm actually too valuable to live my own life and spend most of my days in a vegetable crisper to remain fake news anchor fresh.
Jon Stewart
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core.
Jon Stewart
I have the liberal dictionary right here...let's see how they define water-boarding: 'Something done by the evil troops, who we don't support, to innocent terrorists violating their rights to bomb our cities and make us get gay marriage.'
Jon Stewart
Child: Why on this night do we eat Hot Fudge Sundaes? Adult: To remind us that being Jewish is like having your birthday every day!! Plus they're delicious!
Jon Stewart
Making it [St. Patrick's Day] a great day for the Irish, but just an ok day if you're looking for a quiet tavern to talk, read or have a white wine spritzer.
Jon Stewart