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The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be determined by Internet vote... so look for Howard Stern's Private Parts to come in No. 1.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
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Television Actor
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Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
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More quotes by Jon Stewart

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Everybody wrings their hands about Fox News. You know, fair and balanced? Why, that's snide! Yeah, okay, maybe they're not fair and balanced, but CNN used to have the slogan You Can Depend on CNN. Guess what? I watch it, no you can't. So what's the difference?
Jon Stewart
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The wisdom of the masses is not always wise. You could put a lot of things to a vote-you could have put anti-miscegenation laws to a vote, and that would have passed pretty handily. Either all people are created equal-or they're not. You're either buying into the original premise of America-or you're not.
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I'm thrilled to be asked to host the Academy Awards for the second time because, as they say, the third time's a charm.
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The nation of Dubai banned the movie Charlie's Angles because it's offensive to the religion of Islam. Apparently, the religion of Islam is offended by anything without a plot.
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The beautiful thing about faking a news show is the topicality is delayed.
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Don't worry, as long as America still has natural resources, you guys are okay.
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I visit Fox News every now and again, and it's nice, because the Eye of Mordor is above the building.
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While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and balanced Vermont's budget - all traditionally conservative policies. Dean also received an 'A' rating from the National Rifle Association, which I think you can't get unless you've killed a guy.
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I think it's just about the machine is about reporting the news, and then reporting the news about the news, and then having those moments where they sit around and go, Are we reporting the news correctly? I think we are. And then they go back to the and the cycle just sort of continues.
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I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.
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That's the beauty of our show. Comedy or politics. We're sort of a mix. A space age polymer of both. A synthetic comedy-like material.
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Hopefully the only things off-limits are crummy jokes, but being a standup comedian, I know that's not always the case... You know it when you have to take a shower afterward.
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Wow, the entire network of anchors has been hired to be the press secretary.
Jon Stewart
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It's like hunting cows
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Usually when Obama says, 'Let me be clear,' he's about to get into some very unclear sh*t.
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We hear every damn day about how fragile our country is - on the brink of catastrophe - torn by polarizing hate, and how it's a shame that we can't work together to get things done, but the truth is we do. We work together to get things done every damn day!
Jon Stewart
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[Hugh Jackman is] an Adamantium-laced Fred Astaire.
Jon Stewart
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War that hasn't affected us here, in the way that you would imagine a five-year war would affect a country.
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I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.
Jon Stewart
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It's not really a good sign when your audience applauds Satan.
Jon Stewart