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McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Done
Penalty
Penalties
Frankly
Lawyer
Quite
Death
More quotes by Jon Stewart
Technology. It's like science, only useless.
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I mean, I'm not hoping for the apes and the monolith. I'm hoping for controlled chaos to assist us.
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The beautiful thing about faking a news show is the topicality is delayed.
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The only time a politico will try to avoid playing the blame game is when they or theirs are to blame.
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I feel much more strongly about the abdication of responsibility by the media than by political advocates. They're representing a constituency.
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The overwhelming condemnation makes it clear we have made enormous progress in teaching everyone that racism is bad. Where we seem to have dropped the ball... is in teaching people what racism actually is ... which allows people to say incredibly racist things while insisting they would never.
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People, if you can't get through the puns, I can't give you the good stuff.
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Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.
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Putting the 10 commandments up to prevent crime is like putting 'Employees must wash hands' up to keep the piss out of your burger.
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We hear every damn day about how fragile our country is - on the brink of catastrophe - torn by polarizing hate, and how it's a shame that we can't work together to get things done, but the truth is we do. We work together to get things done every damn day!
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What's it called when a hellhole hits a cataclysm? A catastro[phrack]. I just coined that, didn't I?
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The blow back from the cold war is that a weakened Russia allowed Afghanistan to become a failed state, and then all this weaponry to flow into all these other conflicts. Our greatest triumph has almost fueled our most intractable battle now.
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I don't consider myself a serious and social political critic.
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It is hard to get mad at Donald Trump for saying stupid things, in the same way you don't get mad at a monkey when he throws poop at you at the zoo... What does get me angry is the ridiculous, disingenuous defending of the poop-throwing monkey.
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Poor Al Gore, global warming completely debunked, via the very Internet you invented.
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Michael Brown, the director of FEMA, was nominated by President Bush in 2003 and plans to start the job any day now. ... Prior to heading FEMA, Brown spent the 90's as a commissioner -- this is true -- of the International Arabian Horse Association. I guess he stands out because most Bush appointees are beholden to Arabian people.
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What would Jesus, or any human being who isn't an asshole, do?
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So Fox News is the voice of America and Obama is Stalin? Oh my God! I guess that makes me Yakov Smirnoff.
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Pigmentation was a quick and convenient way of judging a person. One of us, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., once proposed we instead judge people by the content of their character. He was shot.
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Must be nice to be a Republican senator sometimes, because you get the fun of breaking sh*t and the joy of complaining the sh*t you just broke doesn't work.
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