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McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Death
Done
Penalty
Penalties
Frankly
Lawyer
Quite

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After going to war against the U.N.'s expressed wishes, the U.S. is now admitting it needs the U.N.'s help. It's the geopolitical equivalent of the 2 a.m. phone call ever parent dreads: 'Mom, I'm not saying I wrecked the car, but I need a ride home.'
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As long as I don't end up hosting a skin care commercial with Cher, I'm happy.
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That's the beauty of our show. Comedy or politics. We're sort of a mix. A space age polymer of both. A synthetic comedy-like material.
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Glenn Beck does have a dream. Unfortunately, it's the kind of dream you have when you eat four pepperoni hot pockets right before bed.
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Donald Rumsfeld. Love him or hate him, you've gotta admit: a lot of people hate him.
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Attorney General John Ashcroft bid farewell to the Justice Department with a goodbye address. The voluntary resignation came as a bit of a disappointment to the attorney general, who had hoped to be raptured out of office.
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People, if you can't get through the puns, I can't give you the good stuff.
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Some people look at a glass and see it as half-full. Others look at a glass and call it a dragon.
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One of the things that I do think government counts on is that people are busy. And it's very difficult to mobilize a busy and relatively affluent country, unless it's over really crucial- you know, foundational issues.
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The Westboro Baptist Church is no more a church than Church's Fried Chicken is a church.
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The best defence against bullshit is vigilance. So if you smell something, say something.
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I have not moved out of the comedian's box into the news box. The news box is moving towards me.
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There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!
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Technology. It's like science, only useless.
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I'm not trying to be modest of self-deprecating or in any way trying to do that.
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New York City isn't Chuck E. Cheese. We don't have ball pits for the kids to play in. We have titty bars and crack.
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Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something so you don't go hungry, you're a moocher?
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The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be determined by Internet vote... so look for Howard Stern's Private Parts to come in No. 1.
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Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.
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The only time a politico will try to avoid playing the blame game is when they or theirs are to blame.
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