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I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Head
Born
Character
Body
Peanuts
Like
Hilarious
Adult
Tiny
Adults

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Nathan Lane's Bus of Broadway Fun will be leaving shortly.
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Poor Al Gore, global warming completely debunked, via the very Internet you invented.
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High school. You know, people say, 'I'll never do so-and-so again' - then they do it. So what? Sometimes somebody has crack, and you're looking to stay awake.
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Watching Fox, that's like watching the Cartoon Network. Fox is nuts.
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[When you have kids] you become much more - there are two things that happen. You recognize how fragile individuals are, and you recognize the strength of the general overall group, but you don't care anymore. You're just fighting for the one thing. See and then, you also recognize that everybody, then, is also somebody's child.
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I think people are used to people in show business having a lot of hubris. I think I have a normal amount of self-loathing but because I'm in show business it's considered self-deprecation. In normal life I would just be considered your average neurotic.
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A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'
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I could never wrap my head around why the world and the President that Republicans describe bears so little resemblance to the world and the President that I experience. And now I know why. There is a President Obama that only Republicans can see.
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Critics have noted Schwarzenegger's only previous government experience was serving under President Bush senior as Chairman of the Council of Physical Fitness, a largely symbolic office, where Schwarzenegger's only responsibility was doing hundreds of jumping jacks he was going to do anyway.
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[President Bush] recently challenged Iraqi soldiers still fighting U.S. troops like so: ... 'My answer is bring 'em on.' For those of you who may be criticizing Bush for acting like a movie cowboy, let me remind you. He's actually acting more like a movie cheerleader.
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We called her Mother Earth. Because she gave birth to us, and then we sucked her dry.
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You're on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls. What is wrong with you?
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As we approach the millennium with sort of the idea that society is going to start spiraling into chaos, I'd love to be making jokes about that. Who wants to miss out on that? If the world is going to end, I want to be there the night before, goofing off.
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The best-laid plans of mice and comedians usually wind up on the cutting-room floor.
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What would Jesus, or any human being who isn't an asshole, do?
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Give me back the $800 billion for the Iraq war and children's television PBS is on the house.
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It's great having Bruce Springsteen on my show. We have so much in common! We're both from New Jersey, just from different neighborhoods. Sort of like how Martin Luther King and Margaret Mitchell both came from Atlanta. But from different neighborhoods.
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How refreshing. A suspect beaten up BEFORE the LAPD showed up.
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It's not really a good sign when your audience applauds Satan.
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If it turns out that President Barack Obama can make a deal with the most intransigent, hard-line, unreasonable, totalitarian mullahs in the world but not with Republicans? Maybe he's not the problem.
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