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I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Night
Foot
Shows
Bars
Two
Six
Like
Short
Amusement
Late
Park
Feet
Parks
Talk
Host
Show
Ride
More quotes by Jon Stewart
No health care for poor kids? You know, I thought something like that was only done by cartoon villains. You're (Pres. Bush) slowly going from being Nixon to Mr. Burns.
Jon Stewart
[Doogal] wasn't even animated. It was still and the audience had to move.
Jon Stewart
I'm not trying to be modest of self-deprecating or in any way trying to do that.
Jon Stewart
That whole thing has been overstated by environmentalists. First of all, what is it, rocks and snow? C'mon, what is that, you want that? Go to Canada my friend. Believe me, rocks and snow are overrated. I've seen otters - they look better covered in oil.
Jon Stewart
Everything is presented in as devious a manner as it could possibly be presented.
Jon Stewart
I think that, if we do anything in a positive sense for the world, is provide one little bit of context, that's very specifically focused, and hopefully people can add to their entire puzzle that gives them a larger picture of what it is that they see.
Jon Stewart
A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'
Jon Stewart
The press is our immune system. If it overreacts to everything, we eventually get sicker.
Jon Stewart
We hear every damn day about how fragile our country is - on the brink of catastrophe - torn by polarizing hate, and how it's a shame that we can't work together to get things done, but the truth is we do. We work together to get things done every damn day!
Jon Stewart
It's very hard to feel the difficulties that the military goes through. It's very hard to feel the difficulties of military families, unless you're in that environment. And sometimes you have to force yourself to try and put yourself in other people's sort of shoes and environment to get the sense of that.
Jon Stewart
The problem with the Tea Party is they're all ignorant hillbillies who drink moonshine and ride around on mules. And they believe in stereotypes too.
Jon Stewart
Comedy is the only form of entertainment where the audience doesn't know what to expect. In an evening, you might get ten comics doing ten different things. That's not what happens when you go to hear music. There isn't a classical performance followed by a hoedown followed by rap.
Jon Stewart
Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality.
Jon Stewart
[Hugh Jackman is] an Adamantium-laced Fred Astaire.
Jon Stewart
As we approach the millennium with sort of the idea that society is going to start spiraling into chaos, I'd love to be making jokes about that. Who wants to miss out on that? If the world is going to end, I want to be there the night before, goofing off.
Jon Stewart
Donald Rumsfeld. Love him or hate him, you've gotta admit: a lot of people hate him.
Jon Stewart
What's it called when a hellhole hits a cataclysm? A catastro[phrack]. I just coined that, didn't I?
Jon Stewart
By the way, when you finish the bottle of Crown Royal, you can still use the pouch to hold your broken dreams.
Jon Stewart
I can't sing. Never been able to sing. I can't do voices very well. Every impression I do sounds the same. I can't dunk. Man, would I give anything to dunk. Just once.
Jon Stewart
I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.
Jon Stewart
