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I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Shows
Bars
Two
Six
Like
Short
Amusement
Late
Park
Feet
Parks
Talk
Host
Show
Ride
Night
Foot

More quotes by Jon Stewart

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I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.
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My buddy Tim Bass he's a-workin' pumpin gas, and he makes two fifty for an hour. He's got rhythm in his hands as he's tappin' on the cans, sings rock and roll in the shower.
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Why would these English explorers search for these spices, yet never use them in their food?
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President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of it came from the hundreds of thousands of voters who supported him by voting for Nader.
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I think you lose your innocence when you have kids, because the world suddenly becomes a much more dangerous place.
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High school. You know, people say, 'I'll never do so-and-so again' - then they do it. So what? Sometimes somebody has crack, and you're looking to stay awake.
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So Fox News is the voice of America and Obama is Stalin? Oh my God! I guess that makes me Yakov Smirnoff.
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Watching these channels all day is incredibly depressing. I live in a constant state of depression. I think of us as turd miners. I put on my helmet, I go and mine turds, hopefully I don't get turd lung disease.
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Never name it after yourself. Maybe we'll throw a with in there. That seems to work. Like Late Show With David Letterman.
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The only time a politico will try to avoid playing the blame game is when they or theirs are to blame.
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A guy comes down to earth, takes your sins, dies, and comes back three days later. You believe in him and go to heaven forever. How do you get from that to Hide-The-Eggs? Did Jesus have a problem with eggs? Did he go, When I come back, if I see any eggs, the whole salvation thing is off.
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I'm thrilled to be asked to host the Academy Awards for the second time because, as they say, the third time's a charm.
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You can use your idealism to further your aims, if you realize that nothing is Nirvana, nothing is perfect.
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What would Jesus, or any human being who isn't an asshole, do?
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The conversation that the Senate and the House are having with the President [Barack Obama] was very similar to the conversation that [John] McCain and I were having, which was two people talking over each other and nobody really addressing the underlying issues of what kind of country do we want to be.
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The beautiful thing about faking a news show is the topicality is delayed.
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Hopefully the only things off-limits are crummy jokes, but being a standup comedian, I know that's not always the case... You know it when you have to take a shower afterward.
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I thought we were out of money!? You can't simultaneously fire teachers AND tomahawk missiles.
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Nazi Germany was so destructive to Judaism not only for the loss of life, but because many who survived began to see the practice of Judaism as somewhat of a health hazard.
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Body hair. You know when you're swimming as a kid and you want to crawl on your dad? None of us went anywhere near him. 'My god, a beaver! Everyone out of the pool!
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