Quote

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

Jon Stewart

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Shows
Bars
Two
Six
Like
Short
Amusement
Late
Park
Feet
Parks
Talk
Host
Show
Ride
Night
Foot

More quotes by Jon Stewart

Image
Iran, Ireland, Israel. That's three countries, four religions that HATE each other. Way to go, 'I'.
Jon Stewart
Image
I can't tell you how many times we'll run into a journalist and go, Boy that's...I wish we could be saying that. That's exactly the way we see it and that's exactly the way we'd like to be saying that. And I always think, Well, why don't you?
Jon Stewart
Image
If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.
Jon Stewart
Image
[Hugh Jackman is] an Adamantium-laced Fred Astaire.
Jon Stewart
Image
Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.
Jon Stewart
Image
They always throw around this term 'the liberal elite.' And I kept thinking to myself about the Christian right. What's more elite than believing that only you will go to heaven?
Jon Stewart
Image
Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything.
Jon Stewart
Image
I only find out where countries are when we start bombing them.
Jon Stewart
Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and balanced Vermont's budget - all traditionally conservative policies. Dean also received an 'A' rating from the National Rifle Association, which I think you can't get unless you've killed a guy.
Jon Stewart
Image
What's it called when a hellhole hits a cataclysm? A catastro[phrack]. I just coined that, didn't I?
Jon Stewart
Image
Everything is presented in as devious a manner as it could possibly be presented.
Jon Stewart
Image
President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of it came from the hundreds of thousands of voters who supported him by voting for Nader.
Jon Stewart
Image
The Westboro Baptist Church is no more a church than Church's Fried Chicken is a church.
Jon Stewart
Image
After going to war against the U.N.'s expressed wishes, the U.S. is now admitting it needs the U.N.'s help. It's the geopolitical equivalent of the 2 a.m. phone call ever parent dreads: 'Mom, I'm not saying I wrecked the car, but I need a ride home.'
Jon Stewart
Image
War that hasn't affected us here, in the way that you would imagine a five-year war would affect a country.
Jon Stewart
Image
So Fox News is the voice of America and Obama is Stalin? Oh my God! I guess that makes me Yakov Smirnoff.
Jon Stewart
Image
When Henry Hill [in Goodfellas] got arrested for the first time and Robert DeNiro met him at the courthouse and Henry Hill was really upset, 'cause he thought Robert DeNiro would be really mad at him. And DeNiro comes up to him and he gives him a $100 and he goes, You got pinched. We all get pinched, but you did it right, you didn't say nothing.
Jon Stewart
Image
Nineteen people flew into the towers. It seems hard for me to imagine that we could go to war enough to make the world safe enough that nineteen people wouldn't want to do harm to us. So it seems like we have to rethink a strategy that is less military-based.
Jon Stewart
Image
They create these rules and argue about things we don't even understand. It is like watching soccer. You sit there and you're sort of amused, but most of the time you're thinking, pick up the ball! That's what you're thinking.
Jon Stewart
Image
61% of graduating teens have had sex, 37% will eventually have sex, and 2% become statisticians.
Jon Stewart