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There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on 'Friends' is.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Arguing
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Hours
Friends
Character
Thing
Impartial
People
Jury
Argue

More quotes by Jon Stewart

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I think it's just about the machine is about reporting the news, and then reporting the news about the news, and then having those moments where they sit around and go, Are we reporting the news correctly? I think we are. And then they go back to the and the cycle just sort of continues.
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I have not moved out of the comedian's box into the news box. The news box is moving towards me.
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I know that my job is to perform, it wouldn't be a very interesting show if I just came out one day and said, I'm going to sit here in a ball and rock back and forth. And won't you join me for a half hour of sadness.
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Michael Brown, the director of FEMA, was nominated by President Bush in 2003 and plans to start the job any day now. ... Prior to heading FEMA, Brown spent the 90's as a commissioner -- this is true -- of the International Arabian Horse Association. I guess he stands out because most Bush appointees are beholden to Arabian people.
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Here it is. My moment of zen.
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California is choosing between the lesser of, uh, 300 evils.
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I'm doing everything I can to sabotage my career. It's a little thing called fear of success.
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That's the Senate Ethics Committee, an oxymoron since 1973.
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Never name it after yourself. Maybe we'll throw a with in there. That seems to work. Like Late Show With David Letterman.
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Senior year is supposed to be about being mentally done.
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Does anyone know... does the Christian persecution complex have an expiration date? Because... uh... you've all been in charge pretty much since... uh... what was that guys name... Constantine. He converted in, what was it, 312 A.D. I'm just saying, enjoy your success.
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The President says, We are in the fight for a way of life. This is the greatest battle of our generation, and of the generations to come.
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Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality.
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If it turns out that President Barack Obama can make a deal with the most intransigent, hard-line, unreasonable, totalitarian mullahs in the world but not with Republicans? Maybe he's not the problem.
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[The conversation with John McCain] is not about being a pacifist or- suggesting that you can never have a military solution to things. It's just that, it appears that this is not the smart way to fight this threat.
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I wonder who really is the change candidate? It can't be both of them [Hillary Clinton & Barak Obama]. What would be a black man and a woman - how could that be different than the 43 other Presidents we've had?
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A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'
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I want a sandwich named after me.
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Usually when Obama says, 'Let me be clear,' he's about to get into some very unclear sh*t.
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That whole thing has been overstated by environmentalists. First of all, what is it, rocks and snow? C'mon, what is that, you want that? Go to Canada my friend. Believe me, rocks and snow are overrated. I've seen otters - they look better covered in oil.
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