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There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on 'Friends' is.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Character
Thing
Impartial
People
Jury
Argue
Arguing
Favorite
Hours
Friends

More quotes by Jon Stewart

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To the people who are upset about their hard-earned tax money going to things they don’t like: welcome to the f*cking club. Reimburse me for the Iraq war and oil subsidies, and diaphragms are on me!
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I think the main thing that has to end is men's defensiveness.
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I'm thrilled to be asked to host the Academy Awards for the second time because, as they say, the third time's a charm.
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I've always run by the hierarchy of If not funny, interesting. If not interesting, hot. If not hot, bizarre. If not bizarre, break something.
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Here it is. My moment of zen.
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People don't understand that we're not warriors in their cause. We're a group of people that really feel that they want to write jokes about the absurdity that we see in government and the world and all that, and that's it.
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If the guy in front of you at the polls has arm swords, you might want to considering filling out an absentee ballot.
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The Vietnam war was fought over portion size.
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I only find out where countries are when we start bombing them.
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There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!
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I focus on the task and try and do it as best we can. And we're constantly evolving it, because it's my way of trying to make sense of all these ambivalent feelings I have.
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A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'
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[Doogal] wasn't even animated. It was still and the audience had to move.
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Everyone knows if a Republican comes out of the closet and sees a gay shadow, it means six more years of a Democratic administration.
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California is choosing between the lesser of, uh, 300 evils.
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Everything in Italian sounds like 'Give me your money or I'm going to beat your @$$'.
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I have a lot of hostility.
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They create these rules and argue about things we don't even understand. It is like watching soccer. You sit there and you're sort of amused, but most of the time you're thinking, pick up the ball! That's what you're thinking.
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Sometimes it's hard to face your own...life.
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Really, an historic night last night. You may have heard, Barack Obama will be the first black president of the United States of America. ... Obama is also the first Democrat to receive more than 50 percent of the vote since Jimmy Carter, the first senator to be elected since Jack Kennedy, the first Muslim to be ... I said too much.
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