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The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
World
Networking
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Passings
Passing
Notes
Internet
Around
More quotes by Jon Stewart
At the end of your life, do you give a concession speech?
Jon Stewart
I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection.
Jon Stewart
Comedy is the only form of entertainment where the audience doesn't know what to expect. In an evening, you might get ten comics doing ten different things. That's not what happens when you go to hear music. There isn't a classical performance followed by a hoedown followed by rap.
Jon Stewart
Jazz musicians are the coolest people on the planet. Can I have some cool?
Jon Stewart
That's what it's like to be a comedian. You basically stand and stare at the world and hope it craps out cause that's a good year for you. So that's not a pleasant feeling.
Jon Stewart
The Vietnam war was fought over portion size.
Jon Stewart
The overwhelming condemnation makes it clear we have made enormous progress in teaching everyone that racism is bad. Where we seem to have dropped the ball... is in teaching people what racism actually is ... which allows people to say incredibly racist things while insisting they would never.
Jon Stewart
As a comedian, as a person, as a citizen, as a mammal - in all of those areas, I am looking forward to the end of the Bush administration with every fiber of my being.
Jon Stewart
I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.
Jon Stewart
I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about, and that's really it. I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change, but I am far lazier than that.
Jon Stewart
To me, that's where a lot of satire lies. News used to hold itself to a higher plane and slowly it has dissolved into, well, me.
Jon Stewart
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core.
Jon Stewart
Hopefully the only things off-limits are crummy jokes, but being a standup comedian, I know that's not always the case... You know it when you have to take a shower afterward.
Jon Stewart
I feel much more strongly about the abdication of responsibility by the media than by political advocates. They're representing a constituency.
Jon Stewart
Maybe we should always show pictures. Bin Laden, pictures of our wounded service people, pictures of maimed innocent civilians. We can only make decisions about war if we see what war actually is - and not as a video game where bodies quickly disappear leaving behind a shiny gold coin.
Jon Stewart
Why did the Articles [of Confederation] fail so completely? Most historians believe the founding fathers spent a great deal of their first constitutional convention drafting the delaration of independence and only realized on July 3rd the Articles were also due.
Jon Stewart
Yes, the long war on Christianity. I pray that one day we may live in an America where Christians can worship freely! In broad daylight! Openly wearing the symbols of their religion... perhaps around their necks? And maybe -- dare I dream it? -- maybe one day there can be an openly Christian President. Or, perhaps, 43 of them. Consecutively.
Jon Stewart
A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'
Jon Stewart
When you are actually powerful, you don't need to be petty.
Jon Stewart
A guy comes down to earth, takes your sins, dies, and comes back three days later. You believe in him and go to heaven forever. How do you get from that to Hide-The-Eggs? Did Jesus have a problem with eggs? Did he go, When I come back, if I see any eggs, the whole salvation thing is off.
Jon Stewart
