Quote

Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.

Jon Stewart

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Sack
Laid
Year
Earth
Able
Years

More quotes by Jon Stewart

Image
It's like hunting cows
Jon Stewart
Image
The best way to describe my ability was to say that after the game the other kids would say to me, 'Way to try!'
Jon Stewart
Image
I'm not trying to be modest of self-deprecating or in any way trying to do that.
Jon Stewart
Image
I think that, if we do anything in a positive sense for the world, is provide one little bit of context, that's very specifically focused, and hopefully people can add to their entire puzzle that gives them a larger picture of what it is that they see.
Jon Stewart
Image
If the guy in front of you at the polls has arm swords, you might want to considering filling out an absentee ballot.
Jon Stewart
Image
The psychology degree is simply that I was a chemistry major, and they kept wanting the correct answer, whereas in psychology you basically write whatever you want, and chances are you get a B.
Jon Stewart
Image
Michael Brown, the director of FEMA, was nominated by President Bush in 2003 and plans to start the job any day now. ... Prior to heading FEMA, Brown spent the 90's as a commissioner -- this is true -- of the International Arabian Horse Association. I guess he stands out because most Bush appointees are beholden to Arabian people.
Jon Stewart
Image
It's very hard to feel the difficulties that the military goes through. It's very hard to feel the difficulties of military families, unless you're in that environment. And sometimes you have to force yourself to try and put yourself in other people's sort of shoes and environment to get the sense of that.
Jon Stewart
Image
To me, that's where a lot of satire lies. News used to hold itself to a higher plane and slowly it has dissolved into, well, me.
Jon Stewart
Image
War that hasn't affected us here, in the way that you would imagine a five-year war would affect a country.
Jon Stewart
Image
The President says, We are in the fight for a way of life. This is the greatest battle of our generation, and of the generations to come.
Jon Stewart
Image
Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something so you don't go hungry, you're a moocher?
Jon Stewart
Image
I have the liberal dictionary right here...let's see how they define water-boarding: 'Something done by the evil troops, who we don't support, to innocent terrorists violating their rights to bomb our cities and make us get gay marriage.'
Jon Stewart
Image
I feel like [God]'s hazing us.
Jon Stewart
Image
What's it called when a hellhole hits a cataclysm? A catastro[phrack]. I just coined that, didn't I?
Jon Stewart
Image
I can't tell you how many times we'll run into a journalist and go, Boy that's...I wish we could be saying that. That's exactly the way we see it and that's exactly the way we'd like to be saying that. And I always think, Well, why don't you?
Jon Stewart
Image
I still do not understand how a corporation can have person-hood if it has no soul and never dies.
Jon Stewart
Image
Pigmentation was a quick and convenient way of judging a person. One of us, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., once proposed we instead judge people by the content of their character. He was shot.
Jon Stewart
Image
President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of it came from the hundreds of thousands of voters who supported him by voting for Nader.
Jon Stewart
Image
A guy who says what people who aren't thinking are thinking.
Jon Stewart