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I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one.

Johnny Vegas

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Johnny Vegas
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: September 11
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Rugby League Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Michael Pennington
Respect
Stand
Call
Much

More quotes by Johnny Vegas

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I use very few muscles at the best of times.
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The idea of being on TV 24 hours a day and people seeing the real me... No.
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I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind.
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There have been times I've finished a big job and thought, 'Great, a couple of weeks off.' But then a couple of weeks turns to three weeks and then after a month you're staring at the phone willing it to ring.
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Up North you are holding your own. Everyone considers themselves a comedian.
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You know, there's that temptation in interviews to make yourself sound - well, to give yourself a bit of mystery.
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For the greater good, I thought I should be a spiritual leader for people for some reason.
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There's a domino effect with certain things you say.
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I struggle as a writer, and I'm convinced that if I was at school now, I'd be termed as having ADS. Two minutes and I'm drifting.
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I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It's my own paranoia.
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I avoid any kind of organised trips as that's one of my bugbears.
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I've spent lots of time in London, I studied in London, I like London. It's just not my home.
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It can be tough as a jobbing actor.
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The cheese board is my big treat at Christmas that I have to deny myself during the rest of year.
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We had a week off in the middle of shooting, but as soon as everyone stopped, we all went down with six different types of flu and other unmentionable diseases.
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If an original piece of wardrobe came up from Star Wars, I'd probably spend a lot of money on it.
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There's lots of stuff about me being a fan of Cliff but not being gay. Which suggests that he is, but he's not. Anyway, this is Channel 4, let their lawyers sort it out.
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I've got my finger in a lot of pies.
Johnny Vegas
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Had I become a priest, the sermons would've been electric!
Johnny Vegas
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I hate flying, airports and the whole rigmarole - queuing up, security and lost luggage.
Johnny Vegas