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There's lots of stuff about me being a fan of Cliff but not being gay. Which suggests that he is, but he's not. Anyway, this is Channel 4, let their lawyers sort it out.

Johnny Vegas

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Johnny Vegas
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: September 11
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Rugby League Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Michael Pennington
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Cliffs
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More quotes by Johnny Vegas

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I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one.
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My agent once said, 'You're not very driven.' And it's true. I'm not the type to ring up and go, 'Get me this part!'
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We had a week off in the middle of shooting, but as soon as everyone stopped, we all went down with six different types of flu and other unmentionable diseases.
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The cheese board is my big treat at Christmas that I have to deny myself during the rest of year.
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For the greater good, I thought I should be a spiritual leader for people for some reason.
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We all have days where we can't pronounce things or give it the emotion it deserves.
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I had a massive amount of self-belief when I did stand-up.
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I've spent lots of time in London, I studied in London, I like London. It's just not my home.
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It's lovely being a parent and being in a strong marriage with somebody who is your best friend.
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I believe that Britain is becoming more class-conscious, and I quake at the very idea of Old Etonians ruling the world again.
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I struggle as a writer, and I'm convinced that if I was at school now, I'd be termed as having ADS. Two minutes and I'm drifting.
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I use very few muscles at the best of times.
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Writing a book about yourself is like therapy, and you go 'Oh My God, that's the reason that happened.' Writing about it, you're forced to really examine things.
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Up North you are holding your own. Everyone considers themselves a comedian.
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I hate flying, airports and the whole rigmarole - queuing up, security and lost luggage.
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Had I become a priest, the sermons would've been electric!
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I sang 'American Pie' a lot in my stage set. It had a knack of uniting an audience in a sing-along. It's a clever song about American history but wrapped in a fantastic tune.
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The idea of being on TV 24 hours a day and people seeing the real me... No.
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I've always said that with kids' TV that people get stuck in it from drama school but that's not fair because I know myself that when you go in creatively, kids are so much more open to ideas. You're so much freer to mess about and try things.
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I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It's my own paranoia.
Johnny Vegas