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The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Fund
Independence
Stress
Issue
Issues
Stressing
Funds
Presents
Cash

More quotes by Johnny Carson

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The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.
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The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
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I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.
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Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.
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There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.
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I owe one thing to my public - the best performance I can give.
Johnny Carson
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Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.
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People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'
Johnny Carson
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Egyptian President Sadat had a belly dancer entertain President Nixon at a state dinner. Mr. Nixon was really impressed. He hadn't seen contortions like that since Rose Mary Woods.
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He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.
Johnny Carson
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How much of the national news that you report to the public each night consists of information you've actually gone out and dug up on your own?
Johnny Carson
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I am one of the lucky people in the world I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.
Johnny Carson
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I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
Johnny Carson
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May you have the income of a Republican and the sex life of a Democrat!
Johnny Carson
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Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.
Johnny Carson
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I loved the towns I grew up in as a boy, and after I became a celebrity, I went back several times. I would have had the time of my life seeing the old places and the old faces again, but the attitude of those same people was, I guess you're so big we bore you now.
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What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
Johnny Carson
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As you all know by now, this is the 51st annual Academy Awards. Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
Johnny Carson
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Maybe we should hold the next [Olympic] games in Afghanistan and hope the Soviets pull out of that one too.
Johnny Carson
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If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Johnny Carson