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The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Funds
Presents
Cash
Fund
Independence
Stress
Issue
Issues
Stressing

More quotes by Johnny Carson

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Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.
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Egyptian President Sadat had a belly dancer entertain President Nixon at a state dinner. Mr. Nixon was really impressed. He hadn't seen contortions like that since Rose Mary Woods.
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Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.
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Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.
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I would like to say, for the record, that I am in favor of using more American Indians and other minorities in motion pictures, I am against polluting the oceans of the world, I am for every nationality having its own homeland, I am against whacking baby seals on the head, and I am for saving the whales.
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Happiness is a tiger in your tank and a pussycat in your back seat.
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I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.
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I am one of the lucky people in the world I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.
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Happiness is being served with a paternity suit on your 75th birthday.
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Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'.
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I'm an entertainer I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely sincere about it. If I don't happen to be a laughing boy off the screen, that doesn't make me a hypocrite or a phony.
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Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a nudist colony.
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When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.
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Whatever you do, you're going to be criticized.
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If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
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How much of the national news that you report to the public each night consists of information you've actually gone out and dug up on your own?
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If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.
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What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
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The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.
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I don't think it's you that changes with success - it's the people around you who change. Because of your new status, they change in relation to you.
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