Quote

I know a guy who gave up smoking cigarettes, consuming, sex, and wealthy meals.

Johnny Carson

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Consuming
Cigarette
Meals
Wealthy
Smoking
Sex
Gave
Guy
Cigarettes

More quotes by Johnny Carson

Image
You become successful, the way I see it, only if you're good enough to deliver what the public enjoys. If you're not, you won't have any audience so the performer really has more to do with his success than the public does.
Johnny Carson
Image
Happiness is being served with a paternity suit on your 75th birthday.
Johnny Carson
Image
I get sick of that old rationalization, We're staying together because of the children. Kids couldn't be more miserable living with parents who can't stand each other. They're far better off if there's an honest, clean divorce.
Johnny Carson
Image
Happiness is seeing your son drafted the same day he's been accepted to an expensive college.
Johnny Carson
Image
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
Johnny Carson
Image
Entertainment is like any other major industry it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made if you can't, you're out.
Johnny Carson
Image
Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.
Johnny Carson
Image
Pittsburgh is kind of like Newark without the cultural advantages.
Johnny Carson
Image
Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.
Johnny Carson
Image
Only lie about the future.
Johnny Carson
Image
When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist.
Johnny Carson
Image
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
Johnny Carson
Image
Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.
Johnny Carson
Image
Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
Johnny Carson
Image
A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island.
Johnny Carson
Image
I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.
Johnny Carson
Image
Despite the fact that computer speeds are measured in nanoseconds and picoseconds - one billionth and one trillionth of a second, respectively - the smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.
Johnny Carson
Image
I loved the towns I grew up in as a boy, and after I became a celebrity, I went back several times. I would have had the time of my life seeing the old places and the old faces again, but the attitude of those same people was, I guess you're so big we bore you now.
Johnny Carson
Image
Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a nudist colony.
Johnny Carson
Image
I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you. If you don't hurt anybody else, what you do is your own business.
Johnny Carson