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I know a guy who gave up smoking cigarettes, consuming, sex, and wealthy meals.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Meals
Wealthy
Smoking
Sex
Gave
Guy
Cigarettes
Consuming
Cigarette

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I owe one thing to my public - the best performance I can give.
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Happiness is seeing your son drafted the same day he's been accepted to an expensive college.
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May you have the income of a Republican and the sex life of a Democrat!
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Pittsburgh is kind of like Newark without the cultural advantages.
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An oxymoron? What's that? A moron who studies at Oxford?
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As long as I don't commit any crimes, you have no right to judge me except by my performance as a professional. On that level, you're welcome to think whatever you want about me.
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Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.
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There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.
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If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.
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As you all know by now, this is the 51st annual Academy Awards. Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
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Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
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I am one of the lucky people in the world I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.
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Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.
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The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.
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Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.
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If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
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You become successful, the way I see it, only if you're good enough to deliver what the public enjoys. If you're not, you won't have any audience so the performer really has more to do with his success than the public does.
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What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
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The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
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Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a nudist colony.
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