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I know a guy who gave up smoking cigarettes, consuming, sex, and wealthy meals.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Meals
Wealthy
Smoking
Sex
Gave
Guy
Cigarettes
Consuming
Cigarette

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The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.
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If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.
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Pittsburgh is kind of like Newark without the cultural advantages.
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What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
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If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
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Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
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Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.
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People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'
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Do you know my dream? I really want to become an aluminum-siding salesman.
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The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
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Despite the fact that computer speeds are measured in nanoseconds and picoseconds - one billionth and one trillionth of a second, respectively - the smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.
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Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.
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Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a nudist colony.
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I owe one thing to my public - the best performance I can give.
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Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.
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They say atomic rad-i-ation can hurt your reproductive organs. My answer is, so can a hockey stick. But we don't stop building them.
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The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
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I get sick of that old rationalization, We're staying together because of the children. Kids couldn't be more miserable living with parents who can't stand each other. They're far better off if there's an honest, clean divorce.
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If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
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I hated my last boss. He asked, Why are you two hours late? I said, I fell downstairs. He said, That doesn't take two hours.
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