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An oxymoron? What's that? A moron who studies at Oxford?

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Oxymoron
Moron
Oxford
Studies
Study

More quotes by Johnny Carson

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How much of the national news that you report to the public each night consists of information you've actually gone out and dug up on your own?
Johnny Carson
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The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.
Johnny Carson
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People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
Johnny Carson
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I don't think it's you that changes with success - it's the people around you who change. Because of your new status, they change in relation to you.
Johnny Carson
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I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.
Johnny Carson
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I would like to say, for the record, that I am in favor of using more American Indians and other minorities in motion pictures, I am against polluting the oceans of the world, I am for every nationality having its own homeland, I am against whacking baby seals on the head, and I am for saving the whales.
Johnny Carson
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Believe me, you don't walk away from the kind of money you make with a daily television show. You might get awful tired of it sometimes, but take a second look at the check and you get less tired right away.
Johnny Carson
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The vast majority of us don't want to face the fact that we're in the middle of a sweeping social revolution. In sex. In spiritual values. In opposition to wars no one wants. In opposition to government big-brotherhood. In civil rights. In basic human goals. They're all facets of a general upheaval.
Johnny Carson
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If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.
Johnny Carson
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When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.
Johnny Carson
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Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.
Johnny Carson
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I hated my last boss. He asked, Why are you two hours late? I said, I fell downstairs. He said, That doesn't take two hours.
Johnny Carson
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The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
Johnny Carson
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I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.
Johnny Carson
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Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.
Johnny Carson
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Pittsburgh is kind of like Newark without the cultural advantages.
Johnny Carson
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Whatever you do, you're going to be criticized.
Johnny Carson
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Happiness is discovering the prune juice your doctor ordered you to drink has fermented.
Johnny Carson
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The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds.
Johnny Carson
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Do you know my dream? I really want to become an aluminum-siding salesman.
Johnny Carson