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An oxymoron? What's that? A moron who studies at Oxford?

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Oxymoron
Moron
Oxford
Studies
Study

More quotes by Johnny Carson

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If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
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There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.
Johnny Carson
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Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.
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He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.
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Maybe we should hold the next [Olympic] games in Afghanistan and hope the Soviets pull out of that one too.
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Happiness is a tiger in your tank and a pussycat in your back seat.
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Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.
Johnny Carson
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When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist.
Johnny Carson
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I think students ought to have the right to protest, but not to the point of anarchy.
Johnny Carson
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I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.
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Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.
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Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
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Happiness is discovering the prune juice your doctor ordered you to drink has fermented.
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I loved the towns I grew up in as a boy, and after I became a celebrity, I went back several times. I would have had the time of my life seeing the old places and the old faces again, but the attitude of those same people was, I guess you're so big we bore you now.
Johnny Carson
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I know a guy who gave up smoking cigarettes, consuming, sex, and wealthy meals.
Johnny Carson
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I'm an entertainer I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely sincere about it. If I don't happen to be a laughing boy off the screen, that doesn't make me a hypocrite or a phony.
Johnny Carson
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I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
Johnny Carson
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The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
Johnny Carson
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I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.
Johnny Carson
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May you have the income of a Republican and the sex life of a Democrat!
Johnny Carson