Quote

Happiness is discovering the prune juice your doctor ordered you to drink has fermented.

Johnny Carson

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Doctors
Drink
Fermented
Happiness
Prune
Prunes
Ordered
Juice
Discovering
Doctor

More quotes by Johnny Carson

Image
As long as I don't commit any crimes, you have no right to judge me except by my performance as a professional. On that level, you're welcome to think whatever you want about me.
Johnny Carson
Image
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
Johnny Carson
Image
I think students ought to have the right to protest, but not to the point of anarchy.
Johnny Carson
Image
Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.
Johnny Carson
Image
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Johnny Carson
Image
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
Johnny Carson
Image
I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.
Johnny Carson
Image
Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions.
Johnny Carson
Image
In 1932, lame duck president Herbert Hoover was so desperate to remain in the White House that he dressed up as Eleanor Roosevelt. When FDR discovered the hoax in 1936, the two men decided to stay together for the sake of the children.
Johnny Carson
Image
The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.
Johnny Carson
Image
Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
Johnny Carson
Image
I know a guy who gave up smoking cigarettes, consuming, sex, and wealthy meals.
Johnny Carson
Image
The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
Johnny Carson
Image
The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds.
Johnny Carson
Image
Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.
Johnny Carson
Image
May you have the income of a Republican and the sex life of a Democrat!
Johnny Carson
Image
I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.
Johnny Carson
Image
There's only one critic whose opinion I really value, in the final analysis: Johnny Carson. I have never needed any entourage standing around bolstering my ego. I'm secure. I know exactly who and what I am. I don't need to be told. I make no apologies for being the way I am.
Johnny Carson
Image
Believe me, you don't walk away from the kind of money you make with a daily television show. You might get awful tired of it sometimes, but take a second look at the check and you get less tired right away.
Johnny Carson
Image
I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
Johnny Carson