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Happiness is seeing your son drafted the same day he's been accepted to an expensive college.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Happiness
Drafted
Expensive
Accepted
Son
College
Seeing

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What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
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The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
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Only lie about the future.
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I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.
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My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
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Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
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If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
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I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.
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When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.
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I know a guy who gave up smoking cigarettes, consuming, sex, and wealthy meals.
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I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.
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It's the lack of this kind of open and honest education about sex that causes so many kids to grow up with sexual hang-ups.
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Despite the fact that computer speeds are measured in nanoseconds and picoseconds - one billionth and one trillionth of a second, respectively - the smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.
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There's only one critic whose opinion I really value, in the final analysis: Johnny Carson. I have never needed any entourage standing around bolstering my ego. I'm secure. I know exactly who and what I am. I don't need to be told. I make no apologies for being the way I am.
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