Quote

Egyptian President Sadat had a belly dancer entertain President Nixon at a state dinner. Mr. Nixon was really impressed. He hadn't seen contortions like that since Rose Mary Woods.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
State
Mary
President
Dancer
States
Hadn
Sadat
Really
Woods
Egyptian
Like
Dinner
Nixon
Rose
Entertain
Seen
Belly
Since
Impressed

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I loved the towns I grew up in as a boy, and after I became a celebrity, I went back several times. I would have had the time of my life seeing the old places and the old faces again, but the attitude of those same people was, I guess you're so big we bore you now.
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Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions.
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I owe one thing to my public - the best performance I can give.
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An oxymoron? What's that? A moron who studies at Oxford?
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I am one of the lucky people in the world I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.
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Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.
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I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.
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I'm an entertainer I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely sincere about it. If I don't happen to be a laughing boy off the screen, that doesn't make me a hypocrite or a phony.
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Believe me, you don't walk away from the kind of money you make with a daily television show. You might get awful tired of it sometimes, but take a second look at the check and you get less tired right away.
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The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
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The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
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They say atomic rad-i-ation can hurt your reproductive organs. My answer is, so can a hockey stick. But we don't stop building them.
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People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'
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Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.
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What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
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Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.
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There's a big difference between being a loner and being lonely. I'm far from lonely. My day is full of things I enjoy, starting with my show. Any time my work is going well and I have a relationship with a woman that's pretty solid, that does it for me.
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If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
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Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.
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Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard.
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