Quote

Egyptian President Sadat had a belly dancer entertain President Nixon at a state dinner. Mr. Nixon was really impressed. He hadn't seen contortions like that since Rose Mary Woods.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Really
Woods
Egyptian
Like
Dinner
Nixon
Rose
Entertain
Seen
Belly
Since
Impressed
State
Mary
President
Dancer
States
Hadn
Sadat

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Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.
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The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds.
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I think it's almost immoral to keep on with a marriage that's really bad. It just gets more and more rotten and vindictive and everybody gets more and more hurt. There's not enough honesty about marriage, I think. I wish more people would face the truth about their marital situations.
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Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard.
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I owe one thing to my public - the best performance I can give.
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Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'.
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If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
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I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.
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People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'
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Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.
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How much of the national news that you report to the public each night consists of information you've actually gone out and dug up on your own?
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Whatever you do, you're going to be criticized.
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A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island.
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Entertainment is like any other major industry it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made if you can't, you're out.
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The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
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George Burns has been on my show twenty or thirty times, or maybe more. How can you turn down a guy that age?
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Happiness is being served with a paternity suit on your 75th birthday.
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For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
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I'm an entertainer I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely sincere about it. If I don't happen to be a laughing boy off the screen, that doesn't make me a hypocrite or a phony.
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