Quote

I hated my last boss. He asked, Why are you two hours late? I said, I fell downstairs. He said, That doesn't take two hours.

Johnny Carson

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Asked
Late
Hours
Lasts
Last
Downstairs
Doesn
Boss
Two
Fell
Take
Hated

More quotes by Johnny Carson

Image
When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.
Johnny Carson
Image
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
Johnny Carson
Image
Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.
Johnny Carson
Image
Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.
Johnny Carson
Image
Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.
Johnny Carson
Image
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
Johnny Carson
Image
There's a big difference between being a loner and being lonely. I'm far from lonely. My day is full of things I enjoy, starting with my show. Any time my work is going well and I have a relationship with a woman that's pretty solid, that does it for me.
Johnny Carson
Image
Egyptian President Sadat had a belly dancer entertain President Nixon at a state dinner. Mr. Nixon was really impressed. He hadn't seen contortions like that since Rose Mary Woods.
Johnny Carson
Image
The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.
Johnny Carson
Image
I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
Johnny Carson
Image
As you all know by now, this is the 51st annual Academy Awards. Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
Johnny Carson
Image
I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you. If you don't hurt anybody else, what you do is your own business.
Johnny Carson
Image
I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.
Johnny Carson
Image
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
Johnny Carson
Image
I owe one thing to my public - the best performance I can give.
Johnny Carson
Image
They say atomic rad-i-ation can hurt your reproductive organs. My answer is, so can a hockey stick. But we don't stop building them.
Johnny Carson
Image
I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.
Johnny Carson
Image
The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds.
Johnny Carson
Image
Pittsburgh is kind of like Newark without the cultural advantages.
Johnny Carson
Image
I think students ought to have the right to protest, but not to the point of anarchy.
Johnny Carson