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Pittsburgh is kind of like Newark without the cultural advantages.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Pittsburgh
Advantages
Cultural
Advantage
Without
Kind
Like
Newark

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I'm an entertainer I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely sincere about it. If I don't happen to be a laughing boy off the screen, that doesn't make me a hypocrite or a phony.
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My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
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What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
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I loved the towns I grew up in as a boy, and after I became a celebrity, I went back several times. I would have had the time of my life seeing the old places and the old faces again, but the attitude of those same people was, I guess you're so big we bore you now.
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There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.
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I get sick of that old rationalization, We're staying together because of the children. Kids couldn't be more miserable living with parents who can't stand each other. They're far better off if there's an honest, clean divorce.
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Happiness is being served with a paternity suit on your 75th birthday.
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Entertainment is like any other major industry it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made if you can't, you're out.
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I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.
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Do you know my dream? I really want to become an aluminum-siding salesman.
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I owe one thing to my public - the best performance I can give.
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People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
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Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.
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Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.
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When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist.
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If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
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