Quote

People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Asks
Hypocrites
Tell
Hypocrite
Better
Island
People
Programming
Islands
Watches
Watch
Quality

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It's the lack of this kind of open and honest education about sex that causes so many kids to grow up with sexual hang-ups.
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George Burns has been on my show twenty or thirty times, or maybe more. How can you turn down a guy that age?
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Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
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There's only one critic whose opinion I really value, in the final analysis: Johnny Carson. I have never needed any entourage standing around bolstering my ego. I'm secure. I know exactly who and what I am. I don't need to be told. I make no apologies for being the way I am.
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I don't think it's you that changes with success - it's the people around you who change. Because of your new status, they change in relation to you.
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Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
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The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
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Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
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In 1932, lame duck president Herbert Hoover was so desperate to remain in the White House that he dressed up as Eleanor Roosevelt. When FDR discovered the hoax in 1936, the two men decided to stay together for the sake of the children.
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Whatever you do, you're going to be criticized.
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People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
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He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.
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They say atomic rad-i-ation can hurt your reproductive organs. My answer is, so can a hockey stick. But we don't stop building them.
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If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
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The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.
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Happiness is a tiger in your tank and a pussycat in your back seat.
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I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
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I'm an entertainer I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely sincere about it. If I don't happen to be a laughing boy off the screen, that doesn't make me a hypocrite or a phony.
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Believe me, you don't walk away from the kind of money you make with a daily television show. You might get awful tired of it sometimes, but take a second look at the check and you get less tired right away.
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What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
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