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I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Laugh
Laughing
Jobs
Make
Commentator
People
Entertainer
Commentators
Entertainers
Comedian

More quotes by Johnny Carson

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Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.
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Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.
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Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions.
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Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'.
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You become successful, the way I see it, only if you're good enough to deliver what the public enjoys. If you're not, you won't have any audience so the performer really has more to do with his success than the public does.
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What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
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Entertainment is like any other major industry it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made if you can't, you're out.
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Do you know my dream? I really want to become an aluminum-siding salesman.
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Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a nudist colony.
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Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.
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Egyptian President Sadat had a belly dancer entertain President Nixon at a state dinner. Mr. Nixon was really impressed. He hadn't seen contortions like that since Rose Mary Woods.
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Whatever you do, you're going to be criticized.
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The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
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Happiness is a tiger in your tank and a pussycat in your back seat.
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An oxymoron? What's that? A moron who studies at Oxford?
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He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.
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I get sick of that old rationalization, We're staying together because of the children. Kids couldn't be more miserable living with parents who can't stand each other. They're far better off if there's an honest, clean divorce.
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I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.
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I am one of the lucky people in the world I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.
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People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
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