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I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
People
Entertainer
Commentators
Entertainers
Comedian
Laugh
Laughing
Jobs
Make
Commentator

More quotes by Johnny Carson

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In 1932, lame duck president Herbert Hoover was so desperate to remain in the White House that he dressed up as Eleanor Roosevelt. When FDR discovered the hoax in 1936, the two men decided to stay together for the sake of the children.
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For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
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Only lie about the future.
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I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.
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Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'.
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Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
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I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.
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Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.
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You become successful, the way I see it, only if you're good enough to deliver what the public enjoys. If you're not, you won't have any audience so the performer really has more to do with his success than the public does.
Johnny Carson
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If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.
Johnny Carson
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The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.
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The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
Johnny Carson
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How much of the national news that you report to the public each night consists of information you've actually gone out and dug up on your own?
Johnny Carson
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What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
Johnny Carson
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There's a big difference between being a loner and being lonely. I'm far from lonely. My day is full of things I enjoy, starting with my show. Any time my work is going well and I have a relationship with a woman that's pretty solid, that does it for me.
Johnny Carson
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If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
Johnny Carson
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Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.
Johnny Carson
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I hated my last boss. He asked, Why are you two hours late? I said, I fell downstairs. He said, That doesn't take two hours.
Johnny Carson
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Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard.
Johnny Carson
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If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
Johnny Carson