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I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Jobs
Commentator
Make
Entertainer
People
Commentators
Entertainers
Comedian
Laugh
Laughing

More quotes by Johnny Carson

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Happiness is being served with a paternity suit on your 75th birthday.
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I hated my last boss. He asked, Why are you two hours late? I said, I fell downstairs. He said, That doesn't take two hours.
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I loved the towns I grew up in as a boy, and after I became a celebrity, I went back several times. I would have had the time of my life seeing the old places and the old faces again, but the attitude of those same people was, I guess you're so big we bore you now.
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Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.
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He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.
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Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
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Happiness is seeing your son drafted the same day he's been accepted to an expensive college.
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Only lie about the future.
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I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
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Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions.
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The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
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The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.
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The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.
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If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
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Do you know my dream? I really want to become an aluminum-siding salesman.
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Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
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Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'.
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Entertainment is like any other major industry it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made if you can't, you're out.
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Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.
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I'm an entertainer I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely sincere about it. If I don't happen to be a laughing boy off the screen, that doesn't make me a hypocrite or a phony.
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