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I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Commentators
Entertainers
Comedian
Laugh
Laughing
Jobs
Make
Commentator
People
Entertainer

More quotes by Johnny Carson

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As long as I don't commit any crimes, you have no right to judge me except by my performance as a professional. On that level, you're welcome to think whatever you want about me.
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I am one of the lucky people in the world I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.
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I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.
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There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.
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Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
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Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.
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The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
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As you all know by now, this is the 51st annual Academy Awards. Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
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I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
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The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds.
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Egyptian President Sadat had a belly dancer entertain President Nixon at a state dinner. Mr. Nixon was really impressed. He hadn't seen contortions like that since Rose Mary Woods.
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The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
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If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
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People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'
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According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.
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When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist.
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Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.
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An oxymoron? What's that? A moron who studies at Oxford?
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He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.
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I loved the towns I grew up in as a boy, and after I became a celebrity, I went back several times. I would have had the time of my life seeing the old places and the old faces again, but the attitude of those same people was, I guess you're so big we bore you now.
Johnny Carson