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I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Else
Need
Needs
Going
Time
Stoked
Like
Ego
Anybody
Public

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I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.
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There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.
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Do you know my dream? I really want to become an aluminum-siding salesman.
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There's only one critic whose opinion I really value, in the final analysis: Johnny Carson. I have never needed any entourage standing around bolstering my ego. I'm secure. I know exactly who and what I am. I don't need to be told. I make no apologies for being the way I am.
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Happiness is a tiger in your tank and a pussycat in your back seat.
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The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
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Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.
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Only lie about the future.
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People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'
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When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.
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I think it's almost immoral to keep on with a marriage that's really bad. It just gets more and more rotten and vindictive and everybody gets more and more hurt. There's not enough honesty about marriage, I think. I wish more people would face the truth about their marital situations.
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Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.
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An oxymoron? What's that? A moron who studies at Oxford?
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May you have the income of a Republican and the sex life of a Democrat!
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I think students ought to have the right to protest, but not to the point of anarchy.
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The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.
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He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.
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Despite the fact that computer speeds are measured in nanoseconds and picoseconds - one billionth and one trillionth of a second, respectively - the smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.
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According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.
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If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
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