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I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Anybody
Public
Else
Need
Needs
Going
Time
Stoked
Like
Ego

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If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
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Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.
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Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
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There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.
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There's a big difference between being a loner and being lonely. I'm far from lonely. My day is full of things I enjoy, starting with my show. Any time my work is going well and I have a relationship with a woman that's pretty solid, that does it for me.
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They say atomic rad-i-ation can hurt your reproductive organs. My answer is, so can a hockey stick. But we don't stop building them.
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A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island.
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Happiness is a tiger in your tank and a pussycat in your back seat.
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I loved the towns I grew up in as a boy, and after I became a celebrity, I went back several times. I would have had the time of my life seeing the old places and the old faces again, but the attitude of those same people was, I guess you're so big we bore you now.
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I hated my last boss. He asked, Why are you two hours late? I said, I fell downstairs. He said, That doesn't take two hours.
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I think students ought to have the right to protest, but not to the point of anarchy.
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The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.
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As you all know by now, this is the 51st annual Academy Awards. Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
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Maybe we should hold the next [Olympic] games in Afghanistan and hope the Soviets pull out of that one too.
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I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.
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Believe me, you don't walk away from the kind of money you make with a daily television show. You might get awful tired of it sometimes, but take a second look at the check and you get less tired right away.
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Pittsburgh is kind of like Newark without the cultural advantages.
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Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard.
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Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
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It's the lack of this kind of open and honest education about sex that causes so many kids to grow up with sexual hang-ups.
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