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I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Like
Ego
Anybody
Public
Else
Need
Needs
Going
Time
Stoked

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Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
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When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist.
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My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
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Only lie about the future.
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If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
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The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.
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Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.
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Pittsburgh is kind of like Newark without the cultural advantages.
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I hated my last boss. He asked, Why are you two hours late? I said, I fell downstairs. He said, That doesn't take two hours.
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If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
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As long as I don't commit any crimes, you have no right to judge me except by my performance as a professional. On that level, you're welcome to think whatever you want about me.
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Egyptian President Sadat had a belly dancer entertain President Nixon at a state dinner. Mr. Nixon was really impressed. He hadn't seen contortions like that since Rose Mary Woods.
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Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.
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Believe me, you don't walk away from the kind of money you make with a daily television show. You might get awful tired of it sometimes, but take a second look at the check and you get less tired right away.
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Despite the fact that computer speeds are measured in nanoseconds and picoseconds - one billionth and one trillionth of a second, respectively - the smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.
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Do you know my dream? I really want to become an aluminum-siding salesman.
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Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.
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What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
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I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.
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Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.
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