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I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Bush
Waiting
Guy
President
Around
Young
Keel
Feels
Empathize
Like
George

More quotes by Johnny Carson

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Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.
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In 1932, lame duck president Herbert Hoover was so desperate to remain in the White House that he dressed up as Eleanor Roosevelt. When FDR discovered the hoax in 1936, the two men decided to stay together for the sake of the children.
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Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.
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I think students ought to have the right to protest, but not to the point of anarchy.
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If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.
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I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.
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If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
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Entertainment is like any other major industry it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made if you can't, you're out.
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I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
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May you have the income of a Republican and the sex life of a Democrat!
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You become successful, the way I see it, only if you're good enough to deliver what the public enjoys. If you're not, you won't have any audience so the performer really has more to do with his success than the public does.
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My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
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Happiness is seeing your son drafted the same day he's been accepted to an expensive college.
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Despite the fact that computer speeds are measured in nanoseconds and picoseconds - one billionth and one trillionth of a second, respectively - the smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.
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Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.
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Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
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There's only one critic whose opinion I really value, in the final analysis: Johnny Carson. I have never needed any entourage standing around bolstering my ego. I'm secure. I know exactly who and what I am. I don't need to be told. I make no apologies for being the way I am.
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Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
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When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist.
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What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
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