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Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.
Johnny Carson
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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Television
Democracy
Free
Means
Mean
Good
More quotes by Johnny Carson
The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.
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Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.
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Whatever you do, you're going to be criticized.
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Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
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An oxymoron? What's that? A moron who studies at Oxford?
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Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions.
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When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist.
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Despite the fact that computer speeds are measured in nanoseconds and picoseconds - one billionth and one trillionth of a second, respectively - the smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.
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Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
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People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
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Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
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May you have the income of a Republican and the sex life of a Democrat!
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What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
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I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.
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The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
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You become successful, the way I see it, only if you're good enough to deliver what the public enjoys. If you're not, you won't have any audience so the performer really has more to do with his success than the public does.
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Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard.
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Happiness is discovering the prune juice your doctor ordered you to drink has fermented.
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I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
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When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.
Johnny Carson
