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How much of the national news that you report to the public each night consists of information you've actually gone out and dug up on your own?
Johnny Carson
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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Gone
Actually
Report
Night
Reports
Much
Consists
National
News
Information
Public
More quotes by Johnny Carson
According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.
Johnny Carson
In 1932, lame duck president Herbert Hoover was so desperate to remain in the White House that he dressed up as Eleanor Roosevelt. When FDR discovered the hoax in 1936, the two men decided to stay together for the sake of the children.
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There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.
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Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.
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People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
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There's a big difference between being a loner and being lonely. I'm far from lonely. My day is full of things I enjoy, starting with my show. Any time my work is going well and I have a relationship with a woman that's pretty solid, that does it for me.
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There's only one critic whose opinion I really value, in the final analysis: Johnny Carson. I have never needed any entourage standing around bolstering my ego. I'm secure. I know exactly who and what I am. I don't need to be told. I make no apologies for being the way I am.
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I don't think it's you that changes with success - it's the people around you who change. Because of your new status, they change in relation to you.
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Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.
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It's the lack of this kind of open and honest education about sex that causes so many kids to grow up with sexual hang-ups.
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My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
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Whatever you do, you're going to be criticized.
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Egyptian President Sadat had a belly dancer entertain President Nixon at a state dinner. Mr. Nixon was really impressed. He hadn't seen contortions like that since Rose Mary Woods.
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May you have the income of a Republican and the sex life of a Democrat!
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I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.
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I get sick of that old rationalization, We're staying together because of the children. Kids couldn't be more miserable living with parents who can't stand each other. They're far better off if there's an honest, clean divorce.
Johnny Carson
Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions.
Johnny Carson
Happiness is a tiger in your tank and a pussycat in your back seat.
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The vast majority of us don't want to face the fact that we're in the middle of a sweeping social revolution. In sex. In spiritual values. In opposition to wars no one wants. In opposition to government big-brotherhood. In civil rights. In basic human goals. They're all facets of a general upheaval.
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I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
Johnny Carson
